The Random Memorandum

Navaratri...

2011-10-06T20:53:00.000+05:30

…is a nine day festival that celebrates the Mother Goddess in all of her manifestations; each is worshiped for three days. First is Durga who destroys negative tendencies. Then Lakshmi who bestows good virtues and fortune. Last is Saraswati who instills wisdom and spiritual knowledge. Worship and fasting take place during the day and the nights are filled with feasting and dancing. The festival ends on the tenth day with the victory of good over evil.

We attended the hoopla taking place in our complex on Tuesday night with the promise of a much larger crowd on Wednesday. The night we attended there were a couple of hundred people in attendance, but when the rains came last night we thought it would be cancelled. Alas, no. This festival, from what I heard, is a big one. Astro turf was laid out over the muddy lawn and tarps thrown over the DJ’s equipment. The show must go on, as they say.

As I looked down 12 stories from my balcony and saw the crowd…the women in their brightly colored clothes, swirling their skirts and dancing with each other and their sticks…ah, sticks are a part of this festival’s dance. They hit them together and against one another’s as they sway and bow and turn. Anyhoopla, I wanted to be a part of it, but it was almost midnight…and whoever the god or goddess of rain is was still making an appearance, so I watched from afar.

The night we did attend I noticed that dancing aside, it was also about togetherness and community. People mingled…and they mingled with us, the outsiders. There were booths set up along the sideline run not only by local businesses, but by children. We saw one such booth with the typical carnival game of cups stacked in a pyramid where the participant had to knock them down by throwing tennis balls. The problem was that the cups were set up on the table that all the people were walking past, not on a second table in the background. As one young girl laid down her rupees and was ready to throw, the masses kept walking by and blocking her shot. Not the best plan by the kids who thought this up, but she managed to have her chance as Paul stood on one side of the crowd and I and another young boy the other. I would have liked to have gone back down last night to see if they rectified that problem or just let it be…I'm guessing the set up was the same.

The following video quality is really bad, but you get the general idea of people dancing in small groups.

Also, here are a few of the photos Paul took that night.

We're Back in India...

2011-10-05T23:25:00.000+05:30

…and apparently for a while. After our trip to Italy where I spent two days of it on my own while Paul was flown first on a private jet and then on a helicopter to Romania where the location had been changed to the last minute, we find that India is still our home for a bit longer.

Italy was beautiful and wonderful and amazing. It was hard to leave, but India welcomed us back with open arms and for good measure, a slap in the face. We arrived at our flat at 2:00 a.m. to find that our power had been shut off. A mistake on the electric company’s behalf, but that didn’t help the fact that it was hot and stuffy; about 90 degrees…and that the stench of rotting meat permeating the air from the freezer. We opened the only two windows with screens and slept on the sofa and loveseat. Not so bad, except for the fact that we had been cramped on a plane for nine hours prior.

Paul woke early, went to work, and had the driver bring our paid receipt to the electric office. I scrubbed the inside of both the refrigerator and freezer with Lysol, bleach and baking soda…none of which really helped; and then went grocery shopping. Of course I got in the line with the new cashier. Not only did he not know how to turn on the conveyor belt, he moved like molasses. On second thought, it was slower than that. I think he may actually have been moving back in time. He picked up each item with his right hand and then transferred it to his left, at which point he would pick up the scanning gun, use it and then set it back down. He did this with every.single.item. Keep in mind I was not only shopping for the week, but replacing everything I had to throw out. Let’s just say my frozen items were no longer so by the time I left. In hindsight I wish I would have pulled out my phone and videotaped it; then again I don’t think my phone could handle ten plus minutes of video.

That was Monday, but then we lost power for several hours on Tuesday. Apparently between load sharing and yada, yada we can expect these outages to continue through October 20^th. On a good note, Monsoon Season is nearing its end. We did have a big rain this evening, which I thought would interrupt the festival going on, but no. There’s no stopping Indians and their festivals; especially when they include dancing! Tonight is the eighth day of Navaratri, which I will share with you in a day or two. I know I’ve barely posted anything in months, but I was busy…FYI busy = lazy. But pinky swear, I will. No really, I will. I broke my pinky toe years ago and it hurt like a bitch, so I don’t want to jinx myself.

On another note I want to give a big shout out to my son and grandson who have birthdays today. Both born on the 5^th of October, at the same hospital and both are left handed…go figure. Anyway, Happy Birthday to my boys! Here’s a picture of the three of us…from a couple of years ago, but it’s the only one I have.

I'm Back...

2011-09-18T23:07:00.001+05:30

Yes, I know I haven’t posted in awhile. The last time was when I hurt my foot at a Pot Luck dinner we hosted. Update: I made a trip to the states a week later and had my foot x-rayed again. It wasn’t broken, but the injury was treated as such. I sported a cumbersome walking boot for six weeks and the bruising took almost as long to dissipate. The bottle didn’t break the skin so there aren’t any scars, but I still have a bump where it hit. Let me tell you that there have been many times when I have suffered the consequences of a bottle of wine the morning after, and times the entire next day, but never for six weeks!

So a week after the bottle incident Paul and I were at Mumbai International Airport bound for the U.S. As I hobbled with one foot in an elastic bandage and the other a flip flop, I wondered why no one offered a wheel chair. But then I remembered I was at an airport in India (silly me), and kept limping along. After snaking our way through the long queue for immigration I went through with a mere glance at my passport and proceeded towards security. While thinking ahead about how I needed to pull my laptop out, and trying not to think about how bad my foot was throbbing, I almost missed that Paul was being held up. Apparently after letting him through for a year and a half without having registered in India with the FRRO (Foreigner Regional Registration Office) they finally chose to follow protocol. I back tracked and waited on one foot, with nothing to hold on to, for about twenty minutes. Right about the time I thought I couldn’t stand one second longer, they escorted him into an office. Part of me thought this wasn’t a good sign, but the other part was just thankful because there were chairs. As numerous personnel from immigration were telling Paul that he should have registered, he pointed out that his visa was stamped otherwise. As they told him it was a mistake, he countered with how it was their problem and not his; if the Indian Consulate in Chicago was stamping passports incorrectly they should rectify it. At one point someone glanced at my foot and asked Paul if I was able to travel without him. Paul looked at me and knew my answer, “Hell yes. I’ll see you in a couple of days, honey.” After much hoopla they let him through with the promise he would register upon returning and we proceeded to the gate where the plane was already boarding.

That was over two months ago. Paul has since registered with the FRRO, as have I. It was an arduous process, and unfortunately it didn’t end there. Our visas expire in a few days. After being told that we do not need to go home, or even to New Dehli, to renew them we have spent numerous hours over several days at the infamous FRRO in the last two weeks. Our fingers are crossed that everything goes smoothly and our passports will get the appropriate stamp in the next two days. If it doesn’t happen we have to go back to the U.S. to get it done. I know a lot of people reading this would think that wouldn’t be so bad. It’s a visit home with family and friends, a chance to replenish supplies and a break from India; but we have a trip to Italy on the horizon. A trip that includes meetings with Paul’s employer to decide our fate…

Ouch...

2011-06-23T15:34:00.000+05:30

Last Saturday night Paul and I hosted a Pot Luck dinner for the expats in our area. There were a total of 20 adults and three children in attendance, representing several different countries. It was a wonderful evening filled with good food and even better company. The only snafu was when a wine bottle fell on my foot.

The swelling set in almost immediately. After applying ice for ten minutes, I self medicated with Kingfisher and hobbled for the rest of the evening. By Tuesday, the swelling had not gone down and my foot was a nice shade of blurple (yes, that would be blue and purple). I made some inquiries, and decided to go to Hiranandani Hospital in Vashi.

Once there, we were sent to the second floor where I took a seat as Paul stood in line. After a few minutes he came back with a receipt (apparently you have to prepay for services) and the name of the doctor I was to see. We then moved to the appropriate area to wait our turn…except there were no turns. There was no one to keep track of who was next. Evidently you are to watch the door that has your doctor’s name on it and move at the speed of sound when it starts to open. That, or plant your body in front of it, thereby blocking any other patients from getting in ahead of you.

Once I had had my consultation with the doctor, Paul got back in line to prepay for my x-ray as I got wheeled to radiology. Yes, after limping around for almost an hour, I finally got a wheelchair. Thankfully, the x-ray showed no fracture so I was wheeled back to the doctor’s office to get an elastic bandage…but not before Paul got back in line to pay for it.

Consultation: 425 Rupees

X-ray: 500 Rupees

Ace Bandage: 170 Rupees

Experience: Priceless

Oh, and for those of you wondering how much 1,095 Rupees is…it’s under $25.00.

While in India...

2011-06-13T10:02:00.002+05:30

…I’ve been making an effort to sample some of the produce available here. Some is similar to what I’ve had in the U.S.; and some not so much. Here are a few of the recent things I’ve tried that I remembered to take pictures of.

Dragon Fruit:

To me, it tastes like a cross between a kiwi and a pear.

Custard Apple:

I scooped out the pulp with a spoon to eat it, spitting out the seeds. True to its name, it has the consistency of custard and taste similar to an apple.

Kharbuja Melon:

It was the size of a grapefruit and tasted similar to honeydew melon.

Lychee (or Litchi):

I posted these photographs in another post…

…but here’s one that looks quite a bit different:

The texture is similar to a grape and it tastes like…perfume. I’ve never actually tasted perfume, but if you could put a flavor to it I think it would be this.

Sweet Potato:

I forgot to take a picture of the inside, but it was white. After baking it for quite some time, it did not get as soft as the sweet potatoes I’m used to, and was not as sweet.

Thai Guava

The way the seeds looked on the inside, it reminded me of an eggplant. The texture was that of a firm pear…but I’m not sure if it was ripe yet. The taste was like an unripe pear, but then again it may not have been ripe. I think I’ll have to revisit this one.

Three Years…

2011-06-12T23:00:00.025+05:30

It’s been three years since I started this blog. So, Happy Blogiversary to me.

I went back and looked at my first post…I actually forgot what I had written. You can click ‘here’ to see it, but apparently I conducted an interview with myself. I’ve reposted it below (bolded and in italics); along with some updates:

Why did you start this blog?

I’ve followed some great blogs for awhile and thought I’d like to give it a try. I don’t lead the most interesting life or have any experience in writing (other than business crap for work). But why not give it the old college try (I don’t have a degree either).

Also, it’s something to do when I have down time at work (hehe).

Well, I guess two things have changed. First, I think I am now living an interesting life; and second, I’m no longer a Nine to Fiver.

What will you write about?

I have no friggin’ idea. I’m sure there will be no rhyme or reason to my thoughts or the season (wait, that was a rhyme!). Basically…um…next question please.

I still don’t know from post to post what I’m going to write about; which is why I’m glad I named this blog The Random Memorandum.

Male or female?

Isn’t that apparent when you look at the Barbie secretary at the top of the screen?

Fine, female, for those of you driving on the right side of the road.

My first template was really generic and I used to have a cartoon of Secretary Barbie on the sidebar. As far as the second part of my answer…I have no idea what I meant. But I can say that while we’re living in India, we are driving on the left side of the road.

How old are you?

A lady never tells her age. Alright, we’ve established that I’m female, but not a

‘lady’. I’m forty-six.

Yeah, I’m still not a ‘lady’, I drink beer straight from the bottle. Obviously since it’s been three years, I’m 49.

Where do you live?

I live in suburbia where people cut down all the trees and name streets after them.

Big change from three years ago! Good-bye manicured lawns and street signs. Hello Navi Mumbai, India.

Can you tell us a little about yourself?

A little? I’m 5’2”.

I’m still 5’2”…but here in India I’m tall!

Raindrops…

2011-06-11T10:38:00.001+05:30

...keep falling on my ~~head~~ bedroom floor.

Last night we listened to a ~~symphony~~ cacophony of drips and drops. As I lay there, I wondered which of these two scenarios was worse: Putting up with the leaks for the next few months, or having the guy come out to do more waterproofing.

Brushetta...

2011-06-08T21:49:00.000+05:30

I was able to purchase some fresh mozzarella here the other day and it reminded me that I took pictures last December for a Brushetta recipe that I wanted to share. It’s fairly easy and you can prepare it a day in advance and assemble right before serving.

Here’s what you’ll need: French Bread, Olive Oil, Tomatoes, Red Onion, Red Pepper, Garlic, Fresh Basil, Fresh Mozzarella, Ground Pepper, Sea Salt.

Slice the bread about ¾” thick and lightly brush both sides with olive oil. Toast in a 300º (150º C) oven for about 30 minutes, or until no longer soft inside.

Roast the red pepper over an open flame, or under a broiler; turning it as the skin browns. Place it in either a paper or plastic bag and wait for it to cool.

Once the pepper cools; peel the skin off, remove the seeds and membrane, and slice into 1/4” slices.

While the bread is being toasted and the pepper roasted; combine the following ingredients in a bowl. (Note: Though you can make this and serve it right away, the flavor is better if you refrigerate it for a few hours or overnight first.)

3 Medium, Ripe Tomatoes (seeds removed and finely chopped)

1/3 to 1/2 Cup Red Onion (finely chopped)

1 ½ Teaspoons Finely Chopped Garlic *

Fresh, Finely Chopped Basil (approximately 1/3 cup)

About 2 Teaspoons Olive Oil, plus additional to brush on bread

Ground Black Pepper (about 10 turns of the pepper mill; or to taste) *

Sea Salt (to taste) *

Top the toasted bread with the tomato mixture.

Place a slice of fresh mozzarella on top of the tomato mixture.

Criss-cross two slices of the roasted red pepper on top…

…and enjoy.

Ingredients:

One Loaf of French Bread (or a few smaller rolls)

1 Red Pepper

3 Medium, Ripe Tomatoes (seeds removed and finely chopped)

1/3 to 1/2 Cup Red Onion (finely chopped)

1 ½ Teaspoons Finely Chopped Garlic *

Fresh, Finely Chopped Basil (approximately 1/3 cup)

About 2 Teaspoons Olive Oil, plus additional to brush on bread

Ground Black Pepper (about 10 turns of the pepper mill; or to taste) *

Sea Salt (to taste) *

About ½ lb. Fresh Mozzarella (sliced about ¼” thick)

* You can substitute regular salt and pepper.

* You can also use either fresh or store bought jar garlic.

* Although I didn’t use it when I made these, you can add a dash or three of Balsamic Vinegar.

Video Tour: The The Third Bedroom

2011-06-03T18:03:00.000+05:30

This is the last of the videos of our apartment. If you've missed the others and are curious, you can click on the links below:

Living Room
Dining Room
Kitchen
Bathroom
Master Bedroom
Second Bedroom

Driver Wanted...

2011-06-02T16:00:00.000+05:30

Deepak quit. He didn’t call or give notice, he just stopped showing up. After several days of trying to reach him, Paul finally got through yesterday. Apparently he found a better job driving for a large corporation. So we’re back to square one…or would that be square two, since we already have the car?

Any-hire, I hope that we’ll find one soon. There are a few ads (found online through the expat community here) that we’re following up on and Paul has also contacted an agency. Though the situation is quite frustrating, I’m trying to look on the bright side. Maybe we’ll find a better driver. Though Deepak was quite good at remembering a place he had already driven to; he usually had a hard time finding it in the first place. Take, for example, the first time I went to the children’s shelter. After stopping four times to ask for directions, I made him call on my cell phone. He then stopped two more times, even though we were only a block and a half away. The next time I went there he not only remembered where to go, but took a short cut.

Keep your fingers crossed, because at some point in the near future I’ll need a ride to the grocery store. I can get by for a bit with the little shops at the front of our complex, but eventually I’ll run out of toilet paper. Though Paul has been driving himself to work, I don’t want get in the car with him behind the wheel. It’s not that I don’t trust his driving skills…I just don’t trust them in Indian traffic. This video I took awhile back might help explain why.

Is Four O’Clock….

2011-05-27T12:45:00.000+05:30

...on a Tuesday, too early to make one’s self a stiff drink? Well yes, probably. That is why I waited until 5:00.

The same young man (I’ll call him the Worker) that waterproofed the terrace on Monday returned the next day at noon. He climbed out onto the tiled roof, just outside our kitchen and dining room windows, and appeared to access the situation. When he didn’t come back in after 10 minutes I took a peek. There he sat, leaning up against the wall, on his cell phone…where he continued to stay for another 20 minutes. He finally came in, made the hand motion for eating, and left.

Now when the Worker first arrived, his Supervisor was with him and he communicated that the work should be completed about 3:30; at which time I would have to pay 2,500 Rupees. (Note: Our landlord had already couriered over the agreed upon amount of 2,000.) I corrected him and he replied with the standard tilting of his head from side to side, otherwise known as the head bobble .

So there I was, at 12:30, wondering how in the world the roof would get cleaned, have time to dry, and then have any cracks filled and sealed in three hours…with the Worker at lunch. I quickly brushed that thought aside because I knew, even if it wasn’t until the next day, it would get done. What I then turned my attention to was ‘how’ it was going to get done; how would the Worker clean the years of dirt and bird excrement off the roof without a water source nearby? After contemplating this for a bit I guessed at what he would do and then came up with a solution.

The Worker returned about 2:00, went out on the terrace, and proceeded to fill a bucket with water. He then walked through the apartment, climbed out the window and threw it onto the roof…and this is exactly what I presumed he would do. Now I can only guess at how many buckets it would take to rinse the area, but to actually get it clean? I grabbed the garden hose from the terrace, rigged it to the spigot in the kitchen, and put the other end through the kitchen window…along with a scrub brush.

Now one would think he would take the hose and spray while scrubbing. Alas, no. He put the hose into the bucket. Frustrated, I climbed out onto the roof and demonstrated how he could hold the hose with one hand, while brushing with the other. After climbing back in, I turned to watch and what did I see? The hose in the bucket. What’s another word for ‘frustrated’? Perhaps exasperated? Whatever it is, I was. I climbed back onto the roof, took the bucket and emptied it, and then threw it into the dining room. I then climbed back in and left him to figure it out...and no, I wasn’t at the point of wanting that drink yet.

Close to an hour later, after it was reasonably clean, he came in and motioned for the bucket. I didn’t think he needed it, but conceded. After a few fills and tosses he seemed happy and came in to wait for it to dry. Now because I had let him watch TV the day before while the terrace dried, he assumed it was okay to do so again. He got himself settled on the sofa and changed the channel. (Uh, I was watching something!?!) At 3:50 the roof looked dry so I ‘interrupted’ him and communicated this. He got up, took a look and said ‘nay’. Apparently it needed another 10 minutes, which just happened to coincide with when his show ended. It’s around this time that I start thinking of making myself a drink.

He quickly filled the gaps, came back in and started talking in Hindi. Having no clue as to what he was saying, I called Paul at the office to put someone on the line to translate. After a back-and-forth I was told that he was finished and I just needed to pay for the work. I gave him the money, had him sign a receipt and tried to escort him to the door; but he wouldn’t leave. Instead he smiled, pointed at the staircase and said something in Hindi. I shrugged my shoulders with my hands out, indicating I didn’t understand. He then started going down the stairs to where our bedrooms are.

It is at this point that I am ready for a stiff one…and not from him. I yelled, “Nay!” and pointed toward the door. As he was walking up the stairs I opened the door and waved my arm indicating for him to leave, which he did.

Now I know this story is a bit lengthy, but I’m not quite done. Five minutes later, the doorbell rings. It is the Worker and the Supervisor. Apparently the sealer still needed to be applied to the areas that had been filled. I grudgingly let them in and leave the door to my apartment open. The job is quickly done, but before they leave the Supervisor puts his thumb to his mouth (the gesture for drinking) and says, “Pani”. I gave him a bottle of water and ushered them out the door.

It is now 5:00. I grabbed the bottle of vodka from the cabinet and poured some into a glass…and then I added a bit more.

The Rains...

2011-05-23T18:29:00.001+05:30

…they are a coming.

Up until a few days ago, I have not seen a drop of rain since the beginning of last November. Come the first week of June, and continuing through mid September, we can expect to see it everyday; we can also expect not to see the sun. Welcome to Monsoon Season.

In preparation, I have workers coming to our flat this week to do some waterproofing in several areas. Today they are working on the terrace. Apparently the grout between the tiles needs to be filled and sealed to prevent pooled water from dripping down into our bedroom. Two men arrived at 11:00 this morning; one (the supervisor) showed the other one what to do, and then left. The man remaining didn’t speak a word of English. When you combine that with my very limited Hindi vocabulary, it makes for some interesting attempts at communication. What I found funny was that even though we couldn’t understand a word of what the other was saying, we still kept talking while using hand gestures. (On a side note: I learned that holding your little finger up means you need to urinate…and yes, I verified that through Google!)

After cleaning the grout he had to wait over an hour for it to dry; which he did while sitting on my sofa watching TV. This was at my suggestion; before that he was just standing in the doorway and watching me on my laptop. Can you say, ‘Uncomfortable’?

At 6:00 p.m. I peeked outside to access the progress and he was napping. I assumed that he was finished and waiting for his supervisor to come back and pick him up. Just now (it’s almost 6:30), I took another look and he was working again. Ah, India! I have a sneaking feeling that this is going to be a very long week.

**Update at 7:45 p.m.

He finished up around 7:15, went into the bathroom and took a shower. Yes, you read that correctly. Ah, Incredible India!

For those of you unfamiliar with Mumbai, it has a tropical wet and dry climate, with high humidity and four seasons:

Winter (December -February)

Summer (March – May)

Monsoon (June – September)

Post Monsoon (October – December).

The temperatures average between 18º and 30º Celsius (65º and 86º Fahrenheit)…though these are slightly higher where we live in Navi Mumbai.

The average precipitation for the year is 242.2 cm (95.35 inches). To give you an idea of how much that is, the average in Chicago is 38 inches and in Miami it is 60 inches. Now imagine getting the majority of it in three months!

Damn! Now I’ve got that song by The Carpenters stuck in my head….except the words are: ‘Rainy days and monsoons always get me down…’

Changes...

2011-05-17T16:39:00.000+05:30

Back in the day, when I started this blog, I chose to go by the moniker of Employee No. 3699. Now, almost three years later, I find the need to change that. I’m currently not employed; actually it's been over ten months since I’ve whined: “I don’t want to go to work today.” So since I’m living in India…and who knows where after this…I’ve decided to go with Expat No. 3699.

Yes, I Know….

2011-05-15T14:52:00.000+05:30

...it’s going on almost a month since the last time I’ve posted. Not that I’m being lazy…well maybe a little; and not because I have nothing to write about….because I do. It’s simply that I’ve been busy.

There are two reasons for this spike in my activity. The first is that we have our car back (good as new, just missing the antennae) and we have a driver. His name is Deepak and he is a nice young man; married with two small boys. I haven’t seen Vikram, the rickshaw driver, but Paul tells me he’s going to hire him for two men that are coming here from Boston in a week. Anyway, I have a car and driver ~~to haul my ass around~~ so I’ve been getting out more.

The second reason for my flurry of activity is that I’ve made some friends here. Wait. That sentence didn’t fully convey my emotions, so let me type part of it again. I MADE SOME FRIENDS HERE!

I’ve gone from nudging Paul at the mall and saying in my best Haley Joel Osment voice, “I see white people”; to actually meeting some. Thus far I’ve become acquainted with some very nice people from the U.S., England, New Zealand, Australia and the Netherlands. In addition to being able to share information (which is helpful beyond words when you live abroad); I’ve been able to socialize. We were invited to a barbeque one Friday evening and hosted a get together at our place the following weekend. I’ve gone shopping a few times with a woman that lives in my complex, and met another for coffee the other day.

A couple of weeks ago I hosted a luncheon and another is planned for the 26^th of this month at a local restaurant, where I’ll have the opportunity to meet two more women. One is from the U.S. and the other is an Indian woman who also lives in the same complex as me.

Another thing I recently started doing is volunteering at a children’s shelter. One of the women I’ve met, along with her husband, run a non profit organization that rescues and rehabilitates street children and commercial sex workers. This couple is amazing and I am grateful for the opportunity to help, if even in a very small way. If you’d like to check it out you can go here: www.tenderhands.org

That’s all for now. It’s Sunday afternoon and I’m going to join Paul on the terrace and enjoy the heat (not!) and a nice cold beer (cheers!) from our cooler (called an Eskie in Australia or Chilly Box in the U.K. or New Zealand) on our new patio furniture.

I’m Back in India…

2011-04-22T23:56:00.000+05:30

…after my visit home.

Home.

Is it where your heart is or where you lay your head at night? Anyhearth, I’ve been back for two weeks. The airline didn’t lose any of my bags this time, but somehow I seem to have lost my words, which is why I haven’t been posting.

It’s been hot here. Really hot and it’s not even summer yet…which doesn’t mix well with a woman going through menopause. I don’t know why I bother putting on pajamas when I go to bed because during the night they just end up on the floor. My first morning back did not bode well for Paul. Let’s just say the sheet over him that normally resembles a pup tent turned into the big top when he realized I was naked. Imagine his surprise when he reached for me expectantly and my response was, “You can join me in the shower, but it’ll be a cold one for both our sakes.”

The heat is doable with air conditioning, but when the power goes out it’s another story. On my second night back it went out about 2:00 a.m. Normally our battery back up would kick in and we’d still have power in the master bedroom, but that wasn’t the case. Oddly, the power was only on in the living room, which is not hooked up to the back up. When morning came, Paul asked our neighbor if she had power. She did, and then explained how our units have more than one phase and we obviously had some phases out and the ‘Society’ (aka Home Owner’s Association) needed to be contacted. She made the call for us; thank goodness, and an electrician showed up about an hour later. I could bore you with all the details…or summarize:

A main breaker was replaced on the first floor of our building.
The breakers in our electrical box were then checked.
One of them sparked and when removed had water dripping from it.
A plumber had to be called.
Apparently the cleaning person, who decided to clean the stairwell that morning, left the water running on the terrace above us.
Apparently said water dripped down into our electrical box.
Thank goodness the breaker went out the night before, otherwise the water issue would not have been realized until…who knows when or what.
Someone from the Society, the plumber, the electrician, the cleaning person and the guard for our building came to my apartment.
I asked my neighbor to come over to translate.
Rags were stuffed into my electrical box and a hair dryer applied.
Everyone left for the day to allow the wires and such to dry.
The electrician came back the next morning and replaced the wet breaker.
Half an hour after my power was finally restored, the power went out in the entire building for the next six hours.
Welcome back to India…

On another note, Christmas movies are still being run on TV here. Why? I can only speculate. Maybe because there are so many Hindi holidays and festivals that are celebrated they don’t want the scant percentage of Christians here to feel left out?

Today is Good Friday and ‘The Ten Commandments’ was on. Mayhaps they’ll change the line up and replace “Elf” and such with “Easter Parade” and “The Greatest Story Ever Told”. One can only hope….not.

With my track record of late and a shopping expedition tomorrow (yeah) and a luncheon on Monday (double yeah), I probably won’t post again for a few days. Happy Easter to all and please enjoy every bite of ham or lamb you ingest for me. My option for Easter dinner at the grocery store other than chicken is leg of goat. I’m not sure what sound a goat makes, but if it’s ‘bah’, it’s just one letter off from bad. If it’s ‘nay’, nay is the word for ‘no’ in Hindi. If it’s ‘mah’, it translates to “Is mah table ready?” when I go to Hard Rock Café.

Namaste~

Video Tour: The Second Bedroom...

2011-04-17T21:07:00.000+05:30

Oh Wait….

2011-04-12T22:57:00.000+05:30

...things look a bit different here; am I on the right blog?

Why yes, yes you are.

When I found out that I was moving to India I knew that I would need to update my template and leave the moniker of ‘Employee No. 3699’ behind. At the time part of me moved forward, but a bigger part of me procrastinated; we’re talking like 90% procrastination. Why? I don’t know. Maybe because it’s hard to say good-bye to the past. Maybe because it’s hard to look into the future. Maybe because ‘Y’ is a crooked letter.

Whatever the case, over six months later the changes have finally been made.

I’d now like to point out a few features I didn’t have before. On the sidebar to the right you can see the time here in India as you read (and the date if you place your mouse over the time). You can also see the current weather just below that. If you’d like to subscribe to my blog and have new posts show up in your Google Reader or Email, there is a link for that too.

I have to give props to my husband, Paul, for the pictures in the header. If you’d like to see more of his talent, just click on the “Chasing the Sun Photography’ link also on the sidebar.

None of these changes would have been possible if not for the talent (and patience) of Mike aka BadAss Geek.I love you bunches, Mike.

Namaste~

Video Tour: The Master Bedroom...

2011-03-24T08:09:00.000+05:30

Things To Do…

2011-03-20T09:06:00.000+05:30

…places to go and people to see. I’ve been busy, busy during the first week of my visit home.

Phone calls to make, packages to mail, and appointments to keep. It’s been a tad overwhelming and I’m not near done.

For those of you waiting for a package, I promise I’ll get things out on Monday. For anyone I haven’t called, I’ll pick up the phone next week, but please feel free to call me first. For all of you that said we should ‘do lunch’ or ‘coffee’ or whatever; I’m having an open house on Saturday, March 26^th, at 6:00. Drinks and Indian food are planned…please let me know if you can attend.

In the meantime, since I’m too busy to think and write a post, I give you my son-in-law Danny. This is a video I took tonight to send to Paul, but I thought I would share it with all of you.

Give-Away: The Winners Are…

2011-03-16T20:22:00.000+05:30

Patty Sanchez Glikis

LceeL

Karra

Please forward your mailing information to Lfabsits(at)Yahoo(dot)Com.

Give-Away

2011-03-13T11:50:00.001+05:30

I made it back to the U.S.; however my glasses are still on an Air France plane in the front pocket of seat 39K. Duh, me.

As much as it sucks that I have to go for an eye exam and get new glasses during my short visit home it makes for the perfect segue to this Give-Away.

We found these at a craft market in Vashi and aren’t they nifty? They’re perfect for those of us that put our glasses down and then have a hard time finding them. I have one in our flat so I know where to find mine….and in hindsight it probably would have been wise to bring it on the plane. That aside, wouldn’t it be cool if you could get them custom carved; with say a Hilter mustache, a Jay Leno chin or Angelina Jolie lips? I wish I could but I can’t; but what I can do is pass on these three of you.

In order to qualify for this Give-Away you need to either leave me a comment here or on my FaceBook, or email me at Lfabsits (at) Yahoo (dot) com. Comments can consist of praise and adoration, questions about my life in India or simply a ‘What’s up?’ I’m giving you until Tuesday 9:00 pm CST to do so. Winners will be randomly picked through a very scientific process, which basically means that all the names will be put in a hat/bowl and drawn by one of my grandchildren.

If you don’t wear glasses or sunglasses, or this wooden carving simply won’t fit in with your décor, don’t fret. I have at least one more Give-Away planned in the next three weeks.

Hair-Brained Idea...

2011-03-11T15:00:00.038+05:30

Though the curling iron I brought to India from the states is rated 120/240V, believe me when I say it’s not. When I plug it in it becomes so hot that the only thing it’s good for is making grill marks on my chicken dinner to give the illusion that we have a barbecue grill or branding some of these free roaming cows.

After going au natural for much too long, I broke down and bought a new one. Take a look at it; can you see the flaw in its design?

No? Let me show you again.

If you still don't see it, the clip should run the length of the barrel.

Can someone please tell me, especially since Indian women are known for having long, thick hair; what kind of stooge came up with this...and no, I'm sure it wasn't Curly.

Where’s The Beef???

2011-03-10T16:20:00.001+05:30

I’ll be back in the states in a day and a half and I know where to find it there. It’s at grocery and convenience stores, restaurants and fast food chains, even some gas stations. If I was so inclined I could pick up a bag of kibbles and bits containing beef at the local pet store…the point is I don’t have to look very hard. The same cannot be said for India. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s here and there; but far from everywhere.

So where can beef be found in India? One place that is apparently hidden in plain sight is the Hard Rock Café. Yes, Hard Rock has come to India with five locations.

We visited the one in Mumbai a few weeks ago after our outing to Crawford Market. Let me tell you it was a hard choice deciding between a “USDA corn-fed, 21-day-aged, center-cut USDA Choice steak” and a cheeseburger with bacon. Most people probably would have gone for the steak, but pork is just as hard to come by in India as beef, maybe even harder. Therefore I decided to kill two birds with one stone and went for the latter.

Now this past weekend while in Hyderabad, what do you think was only a five minute rickshaw ride away? You guessed it, another Hard Rock Café. If you’re wondering if I chose the steak this time, I didn’t. No worries, I had one the next night though it wasn’t at Hard Rock.

This local, and typical, roadside establishment was a mere two minute walk from our hotel.

Now some of you make be shaking your head and questioning our better judgment, but let me tell you; nothing ventured, nothing gained. Let me also ease your mind and admit that we read a brief write up on the place before going there.

When we walked over we learned that the chef/owner wouldn’t be there for half an hour. After giving the place a once over we decided to go back to the hotel and wait; and also consume some liquid courage while doing so. Forty five minutes later I was introducing myself to Chef Inam and asking him where he got his beef from. He told he had it flown in (from where I can’t recall) and that he had to spend a month teaching the local butcher how to cut it properly.

We briefly perused the menu and decided to ask the chef what he recommended. After assuring us he’d make something good, he showed us inside.

The interior was small; only four tables with a capacity for 16 diners. Drinks consisted of bottled water or soda from an upright cooler and the plates were plastic (mine needing a quick swab of a wet wipe from my purse). There was no restroom and the kitchen was a large barbeque station set up out front.

After a half an hour wait this is what we were served. A nice salad with cucumber, tomato and baby corn…

…and a platter of meat with potatoes and bread.

In addition to two beef tenderloins there was chicken and lamb. It was all very good and I can honestly say that the steak was the best I’ve had all year. Of course that may have something to do with the fact that it was the only steak I’ve had this year.

Chef Inam’s Steakhouse 1

(Near Golkanda Hotel)

Masab Tank

Hyderabad, India

Contact: 9966932677

Update on the Car...

2011-03-08T11:51:00.001+05:30

In my last post I told you about how we finally got our car, only to have it damaged three days later. Paul had left the vehicle at his office so that his accountant, Dhananjay, could use it while we were away for the weekend in Hyderabad. What the accountant had neglected to tell Paul was that he had never driven a car before.

On Friday afternoon Dhananjay had the man that works in the warehouse give him his first, and probably last, driving lesson. With both men in the car, Dhananjay put the car in gear and slowly proceeded forward. The next part of the story is a little sketchy, but somehow the steering wheel locked up. In a panic, with the wheels turned sharply to the right, he put the pedal to the metal. They proceeded up and over a dirt embankment on the side of the road. Because the entire office was watching Paul’s not sure whose account of the story to believe, but saying they took flight would be a fairly accurate description. Some say the car flew 30 feet in the air and others say fifty. When it landed, after rolling over twice, it was resting upside down on a water pipe three feet in diameter. Both men were unscathed, thank goodness; and the car, according to the dealership, is repairable.

Knowing Dhanajay is Hindu I’m sure he believes in Karma, but he doesn’t have to worry about any type of retribution because he is a good man and this was an accident. I do, however, think he may want to start putting some faith in Murphy’s Law.

Easy Come…

2011-03-06T20:54:00.000+05:30

We got our new car this past Tuesday; a blue Hyundai I20. Paul drove it home, and I admit that I was a bit freaked out. Not only did he have to drive on the opposite side of the road which is different than what he’s used to, but he also had to use his left hand to shift as opposed to his right. Oh, and let me point out the fact that the roads here are insane; trucks, buses, cars, rickshaws, motorcycles, pedestrians and cows sharing a small space in a kind of chaotic harmony…with my husband driving off key.

Anymoo he made it home in one piece as did the car, which sat in our parking lot until Thursday morning; Wednesday being a holiday. Note: For those of you that have been following, he informed his rickshaw driver, Vikram, that his services would no longer be required and that he needn’t worry about the money he had advanced him for the month of March. We both wish him well and hope he finds another benefactor.

We finally had a car and it would just be a short time before a driver was hired. On Thursday morning Paul drove to work, while I cringed at the thought. After half a day he returned to pick me up with a taxi as we were flying to Hyderabad for a long weekend. We left for the airport with an air of excitement around us. Paul was looking forward to conducting interviews for a new sales rep in Hyderabad and we both were anticipating the rest of the weekend to be relaxing yet fun filled.

The car was left at the office with Paul’s accountant, and right hand man, having permission to use it until Monday. Knowing this man is married with two children, and only a motorcycle to get them around, Paul wanted to make a kind gesture.

On Friday evening, after the interviews, Paul was finishing up his weekly reports so we could enjoy the rest of the weekend, but while checking his email he came upon this:

Subject: Car Damaged

Dear Sir,

I am very regret to inform you that I have did very irresponsible mistake which is not forgivable to me.

Our car has get damaged and sent back to showroom for repairing.

Mr Vikram (auto driver) will give us the service till receiving our car from showroom again.

I am guilty and ready to accept your punishment for the said inconvenience.

I apologize for the inconvenience.

Best Regards,

Dhananjay

I asked Paul to call him right away to find out what the damage was and how it happened, but he wanted to wait until Monday to find out. Thankfully, he called him when we got back to Mumbai a couple of hours ago. I agree with Paul that it is just a car and it can be fixed, and the important thing is that no one was hurt; but after reading that email I’m sure this guy has been worried and losing sleep. “Just call him and put his mind at ease.” I said. So he did. Paul’s not clear as to what exactly happened or where…or even the extent of the damage, but he does know that it will take 10 to 15 days for the repairs.

We’ve been without our own car and driver for this long…this long being well over a year for Paul…so what’s another couple of weeks?

Stay tuned for an upcoming post about us eating beef in India…Yes, BEEF! Three times in two weeks. Yes, the good does outweigh the bad.

Crawford Market…

2011-03-01T12:52:00.000+05:30

…now officially called Mahatma Jyotirao Phule Market, is located in south Mumbai and is famous for its wholesale fresh produce and meat. In recent years some of the vendors have also started selling spices, cosmetics and ‘imported’ food items. The building, which was completed in 1869, was the first in India to have electricity and the frieze at the entrance was designed by Lockwood Kipling, father of Rudyard Kipling.

A couple of weeks ago Paul hired a taxi for the day with this market being our first destination. After assurance from the driver that he knew where the market was, we were on our way. Let me just say there is a difference between knowing where a place is and knowing the best route to take. Paul finally pulled out his Garmin two hours into the trip; a trip that should have taken half that time. Now let me just further say that if you have a GPS loaded with maps of India in your camera bag it’s usually a good idea to consult it at the beginning of a journey.

I didn’t have a problem being in the car longer than anticipated, but after 2 ½ hours my bladder did. Upon entering the market we saw this sign:

‘Visitors are requested to employ porters…’ Translation: Foreigners should pay someone to bring them around a market that they would have no problem navigating on their own. Normally we would just say no, or ‘nay’; but in this case I told Paul to hire a damn porter just so he could point me in the direction of a bathroom.

Now I’ve encountered many public restrooms in India, but this was by far my worse experience. The women’s was closed, so I had to use the men’s…with men in it. Fortunately there was a stall tucked around a corner where I had some privacy. Unfortunately I couldn’t close the door because there was no light and said stall literally had a hole in the floor for a toilet; as in a dirt hole. Now even though Paul didn’t pull out his GPS until the end of our long ride, he did manage to get his camera out while standing guard to snap this picture. I’ll tell him you all said, ‘Thank you.”

AnyLoo; where was I? Ah yes, Crawford Market. The fresh produce was amazing and we made several purchases. Some were fruits and vegetables we were familiar with and others not; Dragon Fruit, Custard Apples and Chikus. I’m not sure if we got the best price while bargaining, but we were happy.

It seems we were a bit late to take advantage of the meat market, though let me tell you I was perfectly fine with that. The area, completely deserted save one stall, was buzzing with flies. The further in you went the dimmer the light became. And the odor? Let me just say it’s a good thing you can’t transmit smells via the internet.

Video Tour: The Bathroom

2011-02-28T16:00:00.000+05:30

SHRIEK!!!!!!

2011-02-25T13:00:00.022+05:30

During my kitchen tour I showed you how the dryer hose needs to be vented out a window. My biggest worry, until yesterday, was making sure that window got shut before the sun went down and the mosquitoes found their way in. Now? Not so much.

I wonder; do lizards have ears? While doing some laundry, I saw one within inches of my feet; my bare feet. My natural instinct was to scream….so I did...loudly.

Grabbing my cell phone, I called Paul and insist he come home for lunch. He laughed and told me to get used to it. He then went on to tell me he’s already gotten several out of the apartment. Are you kidding me; I did not need to know that. Ignorance truly would be bliss in this case.

I’ll be honest; insects don’t bother me. I can squish a large spider with half a tissue if need be. But small animals, on the loose in my house, Freak. Me. Out.

So needless to say, I spent the entire day looking around corners, up walls and under the toilet seat. I left the window open, which was actually a double edged sword, because not only did he have the ability to leave he could also invite his friends in.

Looking back I guess the logical thing to do would have been to stand guard and make sure he left. But logic usually doesn’t accompany hysteria.

Maybe it’s still in the apartment.

Maybe more will come in.

Maybe I need a pet cat.

Television in India…

2011-02-24T13:58:00.000+05:30

I’ve had several people ask me about TV here. Do you have channels in English? Do you watch the news there? Do you have cable? What about movie channels?

We have satellite and similar to home, our installation date was set up for a Tuesday but didn’t take place until three days later. Also, like home, there are hundreds of channels to choose from. Well, hundreds if you understand Hindi or Marathi. We had to pay for the English package which gives us just over twenty channels, almost half of which play movies.

We have TCM and MGM with mainly black and white classics. There are two ‘world’ channels that play films from…you guessed it, around the world; and some of them are in English. Most of the newer movies we get have already been out in the U.S. for quite some time. There are, of course, the ones that aren’t being shown in the states anymore. Or should I say won’t be shown again until around Thanksgiving:

Yes, Christmas with the Kranks, The Christmas List and Snow Globe really need to be removed from the line up here.

As far as TV series, we’ve been able to catch up with a few that we hadn’t seen before. Though I’m a huge Dexter fan, Paul hadn’t watched it before. They did a marathon over several weekends and now he’s up to speed. One of the shows I’d never seen but wanted to is Mad Men. I’m now midway through the third season. We’ve also been watching the first season of Master Chef America, which is on every weeknight at 9:00 pm, so if you watched it, don’t tell me who wins! That goes for Last Comic Standing as well. American Idol is on five days after it airs in the U.S. and The Academy Awards will be live. Of course I’ll have to get up at 6:00 am to watch; 4:30 if I want to see the Red Carpet.

There are also some Indian programs I watch on TLC, which is not The Learning Channel, but Travel and Living Channel. I do enjoy watching HOMP (Highway on my Plate) on NDTV Good Times. It’s a reality show with two guys traveling around India and checking out different areas and their local cuisine. We also get BBC Entertainment and BBC Animal Planet.

I don’t really watch any news here; partly because I’m not familiar with what’s being talked about, but mainly because I have a hard understanding them. As far as watching sports, I don’t. If I did my choices would be Cricket, Cricket or Cricket.

Commercial breaks don’t seem to be as frequent as they are in the states, but they’re longer. And it is not uncommon to see the same commercial 2-3 times during one break. Some of them are in English, some Hindi and others a mix of both. Some are sophisticated, some strange, but quite a few are done with a sense of humor.

One thing I’ve mentioned before is the fact that most of the channels that are in English are also subtitled…in English. It can be distracting, but usually quite funny, because the words on the screen don’t always match what is being said. The other day I was watching something and ‘dirty bastard’ was part of the dialog, however ‘unclean basket’ is what I read.

Two White People Walk into a Bar in India….

2011-02-22T14:51:00.000+05:30

…and comedy ensues.

I saw this sign outside a restaurant/bar that we have been frequenting.

I immediately turned to Paul and said, “Guess what we’re doing on the 20^th?”

We arrived a few minutes after 8:00, but I wasn’t worried. The last time we had gone there specifically for entertainment, the show started about an hour late. We had barely gotten settled and ordered drinks, when a guy walked up to us. He couldn’t help but comment that we were white; or as he said, “really white”. He asked where we lived and I told him down the block. He laughed and replied that the United States was hardly down the block. “Minnesota?” he asked. “No.” I responded, “We live here.” He seemed quite surprised. I guess the majority of ex-pats that live in this area of India are located in Mumbai, not on the outskirts. He proceeded to tell us that he had been born in Mumbai but has lived in the states for the last 30 years and had just recently moved back. He had taken the hour plus taxi ride out to support his fellow comedians. We chatted for a bit and I found out his name is Chika Kapadia and he performs at The Comedy Store in Mumbai once a month. I plan on contacting him after my visit home in hopes of being able to catch one of his shows.

While waiting for things to get started I ran to the restroom, where I met one of the five comedians performing that night; the only female. She told me she was nervous and I wished her good luck. She didn’t need any luck though. Her act was quite funny and she seemed very comfortable on stage; probably because she’s also an actress and has been on ‘C.I.D.’, a long running TV series here.

All of the acts were funny and we had a great time. We didn’t understand or get some of the jokes; partly because they’d switch between English and Hindi but also because of the cultural differences. Here’s a clip of the MC at the beginning of the night. I know the quality of the video isn’t the greatest, but see how much you can understand…and yes, this is all in English.

Video Tour: The Kitchen

2011-02-20T23:44:00.000+05:30

I did a post a few months back with pics of our kitchen, but here is the video tour.

Our Car...

2011-02-18T18:09:00.000+05:30

…is officially, and finally, on order. We’re told that it should only be a couple of weeks for delivery; but to be honest I’d be surprised if it’s less than a month. From there it’ll need to be registered. I have no idea how long that process takes or what is involved; I guess we’ll find out. Of course we’ll then need to hire a driver, but someone in Paul’s office is already working on it. Apparently he knows someone, who knows someone else that has a friend, who comes from a family of drivers that will be able to recommend someone.

In the meantime, I’ve been having Paul’s rickshaw driver, Vikram, pick me up about once a week and take me to the mall. Yesterday he was half an hour late:

Him: “Sorry. So sorry Mrs. Boss.”

Me: “It’s okay….”

Him: “Sorry.”

Me: “It’s…”

Him: “So sorry.”

Me: “It’s okay. No problem.”

Him: “Thank you.”

Yes, he actually calls me Mrs. Boss. It’s weird for me, but he does it out of respect. Not only has Paul been his main source of income for over a year; he’s also been his benefactor. Whether Vikram needs money because one of his children is sick, his rickshaw needs new tires or he’s just having a hard time; Paul has been there. Very soon, he will not be. Getting our own car brings mixed feelings.

Now a friend of mine has asked, and you may be wondering also, if we really need a car. Let me answer that with a question. If you lived in the suburbs would you have your own car or would you pay to get around in a golf cart half the time and a taxi the other half? Keep in mind that the golf cart would only take you short distances and any time you’d need a taxi the driver may not speak English, making it near to impossible to explain where you need to go. Unless, of course, you know exactly how to get there and can instruct him:

Seedhey jaaey! (Go straight!)

Phir bānyae mudiye. (Then turn left)

Phir dānyae mudiye. (Then turn right)

My friend then suggested that Vikram could drive our car for us. First of all, there’s a very good chance that he has never driven one before, let alone have a license to do so. Second, he’s only familiar with a small area of Navi Mumbai. Third, he speaks very little English. We need a driver that knows his way around, both in Navi Mumbai and Mumbai. Someone that we can easily communicate with, as opposed to being limited to a few simple words combined with exaggerated hand gestures.

So the bottom line is we have to do what is practical for us living here, knowing it will inevitably affect the lives of a man and his family. In this situation I think the only thing that helps set the world back in balance a bit, is knowing that we’ll be giving someone else a job.

Things That Make Me Go…

2011-02-16T12:45:00.001+05:30

…huh?

Roll of Foil:

I beg to differ. It may be my only choice, but it is not the final solution to wrapping food. (Note to self: Bring plastic wrap and Tupperware back in suitcase after next trip home.)

Laundry Soap:

Finally, those pesky stains in the washer will be gone. Now if only I could do something about the ones on the clothes.

Vegetable Oil:

Yay, eating fried foods is now good for me!

Box of Tissue:

I’m glad I bought these as opposed to the ones that were already used.

Floor Cleaner:

If you’re going to kill germs; do it right. No sense in just harming them.

The other day I walked up to the small shop at the front of our complex. One of the items I needed was paper towels. After searching the overcrowded shelves, I finally found some. At least I thought I did. The label said ‘Cotton Roll’ and it was right next to a few rolls of toilet paper. Imagine my surprise at the accuracy of the label!

Cotton Roll:

Video Tour: The Dining Room

2011-02-15T18:19:00.000+05:30

Happy Valentine's Day...

2011-02-14T17:28:00.000+05:30

Yes, this is a re-post from last year…and the year before. I was busy all day making a fancy schmancy dinner for Paul. Well, not really; I’m just lazy.

“Hey dere lil’ possum, go warsh up ‘n git yer face done did up. I gots big plans fer V-Day en I’s fixin’ ta have us a good time.”

“Now ain’t dis romantical ‘n all? ‘N didja sees how I gots us a table close ta da potty? I nodes how dem Sliders git ya goin’.”

“I kin see y’all be doin’ dat dere girly thang an not orderin’ up some eh dem dere onion rings. I node y’all wants em, so go head. Et’s a darn tootin’ holiday fer Pete’s sake!”

“I reckon’ dis were nearabout da best dang V-Day eva, Luv Muffin. ‘N y’all dint think I could pull it off, didja? ‘N sho ‘nuff it ain’t over yit. We gonna git all snug as a bug in a rug when we git back ta da dubba-wide, cuz I went ‘n rented us one of dem videos. I thinks yer gonna like et. ”

Here’s wishin’ y’all a steamy Valentine’s Day!

Meatloaf with a Twist…

2011-02-13T20:05:00.000+05:30

…or two.

There are a lot of foods I can’t get in India, but one of the comfort meals I miss the most is meatloaf. I guess I could make it with ground chicken, but meh.

Here are two versions I like to make back home. One is with a cheesy filling and the other is an open faced sandwich. I’m not going to give you a recipe for the meat mixture. Everyone has their own preference; some like it simple and others throw in everything but the kitchen sink. What I will show you is how to change it up a bit.

The first is what my family refers to as meat log. But no matter what name you give it, you’ll call it tasty.

Meat Log

Mix the ingredients that you would normally use for meatloaf. Lay out a piece of wax paper and form the mixture into a large rectangle, about ¾” thick. Sprinkle cheddar cheese and green onions on top, leaving about an inch around.

Using the wax paper as you go, roll the meat ‘jelly roll’ fashion.

Pinch the seam and ends to keep the cheese from coming out. Place in baking pan, seam side down and baste the outside if you like; I use steak sauce.

Bake as you normally would and serve.

Note: You can also use mozzarella cheese and top with spaghetti sauce.

Open Face Meatloaf

Again, make your meatloaf mixture as you normally would, though for this I would highly recommend using very lean ground beef. Take small loaves of French bread and slice about an inch off the top. You can either make bread crumbs with this or throw it out your window and feed the birds. Now hollow out each loaf, leaving approximately a half of an inch on the sides and bottom.

Form small loaves and place inside bread. Baste tops with steak sauce or ketchup if desired.

Bake on a cookie sheet until cooked through; noting they will not take as long as a larger meatloaf would. If you like you can top with shredded or sliced cheese. Just pop them back in the oven long enough to melt.

Note: The reason for using lean ground beef in this version is to reduce the amount of grease that will drip into the bread.

Video Tour: The Living Room…

2011-02-12T11:21:00.000+05:30

Fraughter has asked me on several occasions to take pictures of our flat and post them. She is not only curious about where we live, but wants to see where she and her family would be staying if they came for a visit in a year (fingers crossed).

During one of our recent telephone conversations she brought it up again. I explained that the battery in my camera is dead and I can’t find a charger for it here. She suggested I use my phone to take pictures…and then brought up the idea of doing a video tour. So here you go; the first in a series of a tour of our flat. Please look past the amateur quality as I’m still a novice with this thing.

Note: If anyone knows what kind of plants we have on the terrace, please let me know. The man we purchased them from did not speak any English.

Rosetta Stonewalled…

2011-02-10T14:22:00.000+05:30

I purchased Rosetta Stone for Hindi when I was home for the holidays; on Cyber Monday as a matter of fact. Which if you do the math means I’ve had it for over two months; which also means that I should be able to ask where the bathroom is by now, or more importantly where toilet paper can be had. I can’t and I carry my own…Thank you and I may or may not be able to spare a square.

Most people would: (A) Have looked at the fact that they spent a car payment on software or (B) Realized that they were going to be living in a foreign country and may need the ability to communicate, and then promptly downloaded the software. This is where the old Heinz Ketchup commercial pops into my head and I change the word Anticipation to Procrastination. Because yes, I tend to be a bit of a procrastinarium (and no, you will not find that word in the dictionary, but only because the people in charge of updates are, in fact, procrastinariums themselves).

That being said, the fact that it took me so long has nothing to do with my ability to put things off; I actually have a plausible explanation. I started my visit back home with jet lag and then an inner ear infection, followed by numerous doctor appointments, a new grandchild, existing grandchildren, family and friends, shopping, holiday hoopla and then ending my visit with the flu. Need I say more?

Of course I should have begun my Hindi language studies upon my arrival back in India. Unfortunately I started experiencing problems with my laptop. Unexpected shut downs, black screens, green screens and the dreaded blue. Paul has tried his best to resolve the problem but I need to grab my discs when I go home in March. His best guess is that Norton and Reliance (my USB modem) aren’t playing nice with each other; sadly it’s affecting others on the playground, namely me. So after realizing it might be awhile before things were running smoothly I decided to just go for it. What’s the worse that could happen; I’d have to reinstall the program?

Thus, I have slowly begun my Hindimacation (emphasis on slowly). The approach Rosetta Stone takes is similar to that of a child learning language; through vocals and visualization. There are no text books or explanations, and words are not phonetically spelled out for you, in fact they’re in Hindi. Take for example the word ‘Namaste’. I don’t see ‘Na-ma-stay’ on the screen. I see this:

I watch, listen and participate to the best of my ability and am optimistic that it will eventually sink in. My hopes are to one day not only have the ability to ask where the bathroom is, but be able to carry on a conversation…

…just as long as I don’t need to use the word for bread.

Kielbasa and Apple Pasta Casserole…

2011-02-07T19:00:00.002+05:30

I haven’t posted a recipe in well over two years, but I did a bit of cooking when I was in the states over the holidays AND took pictures; so here you go.

You’ll need:

Rigatoni, Olive Oil, Onion, Flour, Milk, Shredded Cheddar Cheese, Hot Sauce, Salt, Kielbasa, Apples, and Green Onions.

Preheat your oven to 350º and spray a 13 X 9 inch pan with cooking spray. Cook the Rigatoni in a large stock pot until al dente and drain.

While the pasta is cooking, heat oil in a large pot over a medium-high heat. Add onion and cook until softened.

Stir in flour and cook 1 minute. Gradually whisk in the milk and bring to a boil, stirring continuously. Boil until thickened, about 1 minute and then remove from heat.

Set aside 1 cup of the cheese for the top of the casserole. Stir the remaining 2 cups of cheese, the hot sauce and salt into the milk mixture until smooth.

Slice the Kielbasa into ¼” pieces…

…and toss together with the Rigatoni, cheese sauce, and apples. Spoon into 13 X 9 inch pan…

…and cover with foil. Bake for 30 minutes.

Uncover and stir. Sprinkle the remaining cheese and green onions on top and bake an additional 10 minutes, uncovered.

Let stand 10 minutes before serving and enjoy!

Kielbasa and Apple Pasta Casserole

Ingredients:

1 lb. Rigatoni

2 Tab. Olive Oil

1 Large Onion

¼ Cup Flour

4 Cups Milk

3 Cups Shredded Cheddar Cheese (I prefer extra sharp)

1 Teas. Hot Sauce

1 Teas. Salt

2 Packages Fully-Cooked Kielbasa, sliced into ¼” pieces

3 Apples, cored and cut into ½” cubes

2 Green Onions, thinly sliced

Directions:

Heat oven to 350°. Coat 13 X 9 inch pan with nonstick cooking spray.

Cook Rigatoni in a large stock pot until al dente and drain.

While pasta is cooking, heat oil in a large pot over a medium-high heat. Add onion and cook until softened. Stir in flour and cook 1 minute. Gradually whisk in the milk, then bring to a boil, stirring continuously. Boil until thickened, about 1 minute and then remove from heat.

Set aside 1 cup of the cheese for the top of the casserole. Stir the remaining 2 cups of cheese, the hot sauce and salt into the milk mixture until smooth.

In the pot you cooked the pasta in, toss together Rigatoni, cheese sauce, Kielbasa and apples. Spoon into 13 X 9 inch pan and cover with foil.

Bake in oven for 30 minutes. Uncover and stir. Sprinkle top with remaining cheese and green onions. Bake an additional 10 minutes, uncovered. Let stand 10 minutes before serving.

To see other recipes I’ve posted click HERE.

Amazon…

2011-02-03T13:49:00.000+05:30

…I miss you.

I realized about two weeks ago that I forgot the battery charger for my camera back in the states. One would think I could just run out and purchase a replacement, but one would be mistaken. I could buy a brand new camera that comes with a battery charger, but we’ve found that a charger alone is not to be had. Of course I could ask Fraughter to ship the one I forgot; but let’s be realistic. It will either (A) never get here, or (B) arrive around the time I’m going back for a visit.

Now I’m sure some of you are thinking, “Well, damn woman; just order one on Amazon!” and I would have to reply, “Been there, tried that, no can do.” Amazon will not ship certain items to certain places; meaning a battery charger is a certain item and India is certainly one of those places.

Out of curiosity, I went through the motions to see what information Amazon yielded if I were to order a book. Take a look at this:

At least a month for delivery, I’ll be home March 11^th and the shipping cost almost equals that of the book itself. Don’t forget to read the fine print, an import tax will be added as well.

So unless I use Paul’s camera, which will not fit in my purse (Nikon D300), the only pictures I’ll be posting here will most likely be ones I’ve already taken.

Namaste~

A Little Bird Told Me...

2011-01-31T13:35:00.000+05:30

...that the one way glass in part of our bedroom really is one way.

Happy 10th Anniversary...

2011-01-29T11:30:00.014+05:30

...to two beautiful people....

Fraughter and my son-in-law. May the next ten years be just as wonderful at the first.

For your listening pleasure, this is a song he wrote a few months after they were married (music and lyrics) and yes, that is him singing!

12 New Drug.mp3

Outlets and Switches and Lights…

2011-01-28T13:42:00.000+05:30

…oh my! There are so many things here that are different than in the U.S. One of them I encounter everyday are the numerous switches on the walls.

Picture if you will; that you’re in a room with recessed lighting in the ceiling. Now let’s say there are a total of ten lights; how many switches would you have to flip up to turn all of them on? In my dining room alone there are (10) lights and one ceiling fan. To turn all of them on I would have to flick seven regular switches and turn four dimmer knobs. Now some of the lights are tied in together, so if I flip one switch, three of them will go on at once…but only if I turn the dimmer knob too. It’s like this in every room AND several rooms have more than one of these large switch plates.

Not only are there switches for the fans and lights, but the outlets too. Yes, in order for an outlet to work you must first turn it on. Okay maybe that’s not such a big deal; but it can be if you’re charging something, say like a cell phone, and you forget to turn it on. It can also be a problem if you don’t remember to turn off an outlet during a power outage. Imagine something, for instance a laptop, getting hit with 220 volts every time the power comes back on. Yes, they run on 220 here, not 110; so having power adapters for electronics from home is necessary, but it isn’t enough. You need to make sure that the appliance is rated accordingly.

There are switches for the fans, lights and outlets; but let’s not forget about the hot water geysers. If you are one of those people that like to jump out of bed and start your day with a nice hot shower, it’s not going to happen here. First you jump out of bed and turn on the geyser; then you go drink a cup of coffee. Maybe two if you want a really hot one (TWSS).

So, there are switches for the fans, lights, outlets and geysers, but wait, let’s not forget the doorbell. Yes, even the doorbell is on a switch; which is fine if you don’t want to be disturbed, but not if you want the guy to pick up your garbage every day.

It just seems to me like so much extra and unnecessary wiring; and it’s confusing, trying to remember which switch is for what. Out of boredom one day, I decided to count them all. Not including what I couldn’t see behind furniture, there are 120 switches in this apartment. I know I could label them, but I like a challenge…and it’s quite comical watching the two of us flipping this switch and that when we go to bed at night. Humor aside, I’ve often wondered what the wiring looks like between the walls. Especially once I got a look at the wires outside going into two of the AC Units.

And, in case you were wondering. Yes, there are switches for those too.

Republic Day…

2011-01-26T14:00:00.019+05:30

Today, this 26^th day of January is Republic Day here and marks the 62^nd anniversary of the date the Constitution of India came into force. Though India gained it’s independence from the British in 1947, it did not have a permanent constitution until 1950.

As it is not a religious, but federal holiday; most places of business are closed. I found that out this time last year when I was visiting Paul in New Delhi. We were stuck in the hotel; ordering room service and watching first the parade and then the movie ‘Gandhi’ on TV.

This year will be pretty much the same; well except for the room service part. I’d love to say we could celebrate it much like we do the Fourth of July at home, but I can’t. Though the weather here is similar to that of July in the Midwest, there will be no barbequing, or swimming or, most importantly, family and friends.

I could tell you how nice it is to see all these kids playing on their day off of school…

…but really? It just makes me miss my grandchildren even more.

What I’ll probably do, since Paul has the day off of work, is challenge him to a rematch of Scrabble. He beat me 2 out of three games last weekend. But ONLY because he over served me with his mango daiquiris and insisted that we couldn’t use words that weren’t in the dictionary that came with the game. The game we bought here….in India…with a dictionary that measures all of 3 X 4 inches and contains less than 600 pages.

Let me just say that after hugging my grandkids for at least an hour when I go home to visit in March, one of the first things I’m going to do is buy an ‘Official’ Scrabble dictionary. Because...

The Power Went Out…

2011-01-25T14:20:00.000+05:30

…this morning; but it didn’t last long. We’ve been lucky that the outages really haven’t been an issue…well, except for about two weeks ago. That time it was out for almost eight hours. It wouldn’t have affected us much except for one small detail. Battery back-ups only last for so long; then they run out of juice.

Now, our back-up is only hooked up to parts of our dining room and the master bedroom; nothing else. Not the refrigerator, or A/C units, or television or even the hot water geysers. And no power for that long, combined with the heat here, can equal bad news for everything in the refrigerator. Luckily it was fairly empty and it was Saturday; which is grocery shopping day. Paul and I were showered and ready to head out, but were dawdling. Once the power went; so did we.

We took the elevator down, walked to the front of the complex and hopped in a rickshaw. As we neared the mall area we spotted a traveling craft market and decided to check that out first. I’m glad we did as in addition to getting some great trinkets, we bought this treasure; a hand carved wall plaque that is almost three feet wide.

Of course it wasn’t a quick transaction, much negotiating needs to take place before both the seller and buyer are happy. The craftsman wanted 4,000 Rupees and Paul told him ‘no’. He then reduced the price to 3,000, at which Paul still balked and offered 1,000. The craftsman said ‘too low’ and we proceeded to walk away. After about five minutes the craftsman came and found us and they agreed on 2,000 Rupees.

After the craft market we had a leisurely lunch and then went to the grocery store. Beside the usual staples, we had to get a new frying pan and we stocked up on Diet Pepsi because it was on sale. We pushed our cart to the rickshaw queue, found one to take us back home and barely fit all of our purchases in it.

Once back, we hauled everything to the elevator door and pushed the button. The elevators in our building are slow so we talked about what we were going to do that evening as we waited…and waited…and waited…until it dawned on us. The power was still out and apparently the battery back-up on the elevators had run out of juice. We ended up having to carry all of our groceries, including the frying pan and the twelve liters of Diet Pepsi AND the wooden carving up twelve flights of stairs…in one trip.

Thank goodness the power finally came back on because needless to say, all we did that evening was lay around and watch TV.

I Did It…

2011-01-22T16:11:00.000+05:30

I got my first professional pedicure. I know; there are plenty of women (and men) who get them all the time. But…

…do they have fish nibble the dead skin off their feet first?

There’s a new Fish Spa and Therapy kiosk that opened at the mall about two weeks ago. I’ve wanted to try this since hearing about it last year, so yesterday when I went to do a little shopping before meeting Paul after work, it was my first stop.

I had a choice of either fifteen or 30 minutes of ~~feeding the fish~~ therapy and decided to go with the shorter time not knowing what to expect. What can you expect should you ever have an opportunity to try this? Let me just say if your feet are extremely ticklish you’ll have a hard time sitting still…and the bigger the fish, the more it tickles. It is a strange sensation, but relaxing at the same time. The only time I got a little freaked was when they told me to spread my toes apart so the fish could get in there, then I worried about squishing one of the little munchkins if I put my toes back together!

These 'Doctor Fish' only eat the dead skin from your feet (and ankles if they’re also in the water), and leave the healthy skin alone. I wondered about the nutritious value of dead skin and asked the girls working there if they still had to feed them and was told they did.

The price for the therapy, foot/leg massage and pedicure? 350 Rupees…$7.68 U.S. Am I hooked (pun intended), you bet. I plan on going back in a couple of weeks with Paul in tow.

The Produce Walla…

2011-01-16T21:46:00.000+05:30

I’ve mentioned the produce walla (vendor) that has a stand at the base of our building. Not only is it wonderful to be able to make a quick trip down the elevator for fresh produce, I’m always surprised at the variety he has to offer in such a small space. I recognize a large portion of the items, but I must admit some of them have me baffled. I’ve been purchasing things I recognize and know what to do with, but it’s only a matter of time before I start experimenting.

The other day I felt like making a fruit salad. I slipped on my flip flops, grabbed some money and went down to see what he had. Here’s what I got for 195 Rupees (just over $4.00 U.S.):

A baby watermelon, a pineapple, 2-tangerines, 1-orange (that’s the one that looks like a lime), a pomegranate, 2-kiwis, a bunch of baby bananas, about a dozen lychee and a pint of strawberries. The strawberries got me at 70 Rupees, but they looked so good.

I’m sure all of these look familiar to you but you may not know what a lychee is; you can read about them here if you’re so inclined. What you do is cut the top off and peel away the outer skin. Then make a small slice into it and remove the seed, which is slightly poisonous.

I cut the top off the watermelon and filled it with some of the salad. Hey, it’s all about the presentation!

The small red things at the top of the bowl are pomegranate seeds. Up until now I'd only had store purchased juice, but apparently aside from making juice from them, you can eat them on their own or put them on top of salads or deserts. They are both delicious and good for you! I will admit that when I got back up to my flat I wasn’t sure what to do with it, but that’s where the internet can be your best friend. Here’s the video I found on YouTube showing me just how easy it is to remove the seeds.

Now even though I went down that day in search of fresh fruit, I did happen across these little guys. Baby corn still in the husk. It doesn't get much fresher than this!

Though it was tempting to cook them up on their own and watch Paul try to eat them Tom Hanks style ala ‘Big”, they were actually added to the stir fry I made for dinner the next day.

Dihydrogen Monoxide…

2011-01-15T18:54:00.001+05:30

The above was the topic of conversation around here for the better part of last week. You see, I waited three days for someone to show up to install a new water purification system in our kitchen. The owners of our flat had installed this one right before we moved in…

…but apparently it was only filtering out sediment. Needless to say, I was boiling water numerous times a day; for drinking, ice cubes, cooking, etc. Paul took pity on me and bought a new system while he was working a trade show called ‘Everything About Water’. He purchased it directly from the manufacturer, at a fraction of the retail cost, with installation included. This new system not only filters out sediment, but has UV and reverse osmosis. The UV kills bacteria and the RO removes all the impurities.

So back to my wait; after two days I still had a sense of humor and was referring to him as the water boy. I joked and said to Paul, “I know he’ll get here. He can do it!” But when he didn’t show on day three, two hours after he was supposed to, I was getting pissed. I called Paul at work and asked, “What’s up with H2-No Show?”

Finally, he came (TWSS), and isn’t it a beauty?

No more boiling of water, unless it’s for coffee (We’ve been drinking instant because regular coffee here is quite expensive). In case you’re wondering if it filters dihydrogen monoxide, it does.

If you’re not aware of what dihydrogen monoxide is and are curious, please read this or watch the following video.

Update...

2011-01-14T16:39:00.000+05:30

I know, I know. I’ve been back in Mumbai for a week and a half and only a quick post until now. I just needed a bit of time to acclimate myself and get into a routine. Plus, whenever I sat down at my laptop I just couldn’t seem to pick one particular thing to write about.

I mean; do I tell you about how much cleaning I do and that with this small washer and dryer I average about 17 loads of laundry a week…

…or about how cooking the simplest of meals is a challenge…

…but that I wouldn’t trade this experience for all the tea in China, or India for that matter.

Do I confess that being alone all day I sometimes find that I’m talking to myself, out loud…

…but it’s okay, because I like my own company.

Maybe I should tell you that we don’t have a car and driver yet and I can only get to the grocery store once a week…

…but how there’s a produce walla just outside our building and I can buy fresh fruits and vegetables everyday?

Or complain about the hot water running out before I’ve gotten all the shampoo out of my hair…

…but while showering I can look through the one way glass and watch bright green parrots mere feet away?

Perhaps admit that Paul and I briefly crashed a party last night at the community center and stood out like two sore thumbs…

…but that we had a great time?

Yeah, that’s the ticket. I’m going to go with that last one.

There is a community center in our complex. Besides a central building, a pool, tennis courts and playground, there are several large grassy areas, two of which we’ve seen used for parties. Lots of parties, as in six of them in the last 10 days. Don’t ask me what these parties are for because I couldn’t tell you; well, except for the one last Friday night which was clearly for a birthday. I figured that out when I heard them singing ‘Happy Birthday’. I know; very perceptive of me.

Though I don’t know what the other parties were for, I can tell you that they looked quite formal. Stages are erected, tables and chairs arranged and then covered in linens, lights are strung, and elaborate food stations are set up. I’m pretty sure it’s safe to say that I’d need an invitation to attend.

But yesterday, other than seeing large speakers set out there was no indication it would be a party at all. As the sun set the music started playing and it got louder and louder. People began to arrive and by night fall there were several hundred. A huge bon fire was lit in the center and everyone started dancing. How could we not walk over and get a closer look?

Would you like a look too? Here’s a video I took. You’ll have to forgive the quality, other than the fire and a couple of spot lights it was pretty dark out.

Back in Mumbai…

2011-01-09T19:28:00.000+05:30

…for almost a week now. Though busy, there have been times when I could have written a post. But the fact is I needed that time for myself. I needed time to process that this is home, yet using the word ‘home’ here sounds foreign to me. But I guess that’s normal, this is still a foreign land to me.

The flight was grueling; however we made it safe and sound…though our largest suitcase took another 36 hours to catch up with us. I must admit that we were both a little concerned about it going through customs. You see, each person is allowed only one carton of cigarettes into the country before having to pay a customs tax in excess of 35%; this particular bag contained…well lets just say it was well over the allotted amount. No worries, it was delivered to our door untouched.

In addition to the smokes and other precious cargo (i.e. food), this suitcase contained a brand new Swiffer. In the case you have forgotten or you’re a new reader, I hadn’t been able to find a ‘normal’ broom or mop here. I was cleaning the floors on my hands and knees, and this is what I used on the terrace:

I’m still using this pseudo broom outside, but inside the Swiffer is my new best buddy.

The board of tourism here employs the campaign ‘Incredible India’, and it is indeed, incredible; but it is also dirty. Aside from the garbage you see along most roads and the pollution there is dirt, and when it’s not monsoon season; that dirt translates into dust. We were in our flat for less than a half hour before I noticed the bottoms of our feet.

Please note that Paul washed the floors the day before he left and all the windows were shut and locked. Apparently they’re not air tight, but really?

Anywipe, I’m glad to have the Swiffer since the floors need to be cleaned at least every other day (if not every day). Some of you may be wondering if I packed the wet or dry clothes for it. In answer, I did pack a few boxes of the dry ones, but for mopping I use thin, inexpensive wash clothes. They tuck nicely into the slots and I can wash and reuse them. It’s my small part at being ‘Green’.

Some inquiring minds have asked if I will hire someone to clean. The answer to that is, “I don’t know yet.” I understand that by doing so I will be giving someone employment, but at this point I really don’t want a stranger (that I most likely won’t be able to communicate with) in my home. Also, I have all day to do it myself while Paul’s at the office. In time, who knows? I’ve inquired into joining the AWC and put out feelers for volunteering for Tender Hands. Keep your fingers crossed that I get a reply soon, because until I get involved with something, for 50 hours a week it’s just me, myself and the Internet…oh, and my buddy, Swiffer.

Up...

2011-01-04T04:00:00.011+05:30

…up…

…and away.

By the time this posts we will be en route back to Mumbai.

Contemporary Goldilocks…

2011-01-03T07:12:00.000+05:30

…Papa Bear’s Laptop was full of porn…

…and Mama Bear’s Notebook was locked on FaceBook…

…but Baby Bear’s Netbook had Disney, and that was just right.

Happy New Year and….

2011-01-02T10:55:00.001+05:30

…BANG!

This is where I should brag about our awesome New Year’s Eve celebration and then boast about the numerous glasses of bubbly that were had.

It’s also where you should be green with envy upon reading the details of how we kicked Father Time in the ass as we waved him adieu and spanked Baby New Year obstetrician style.

But alas, I can’t tell you that as it would be a lie. We did consume quite a bit of the bubbly, but it was in the form of effervescent tablets of Airborne and Alka-Seltzer Plus cold medicine. In truth, Father Time wielded his scythe as he deemed us unworthy and Baby New Year requested an attorney regarding his rights as a minor.

Blah, blah, blah. We all curled up in the family room under afghans (blankets, not people from Afghanistan…duh) and watched a Pay Per View movie on OnDemand. ‘The Other Guys’ if you must know…not my choice, but not my dime. Fraughter and her husband were in bed just after 11:00 p.m. and Paul and I only wished each other Happy New Year because we were awakened by neighborhood fireworks.

What? You don’t give a damn and just want to know who won the Give-Away?

Fine. Without further ado, I give you Number 11.

Congratulations, Sheila. You are now the owner of ‘Outsourced’ on DVD. As I know you live mere minutes away; save me the postage, pick up your prize and give me a hug good-bye before I leave for India in two days.

I almost...

2011-01-01T00:25:00.001+05:30

…went to the grocery store this morning in my pajamas; the only thing that stopped me was the fact that I wasn’t wearing any. You see I still had my sweatpants and t-shirt on from the day before. No bra, no make-up, no brushing of the teeth. Just a quick comb of fingers through my hair and I was out the door for our New Year’s Eve provisions.

I walked up and down the aisles, ticking each item off my list as I threw it into the cart. I was on a mission to get out of there as quickly as possible. When I approached the cashier she looked at me like I had cooties and was reluctant to take my store card. Was it my lack of hygiene? That might have had something to do with it, but more than likely it was the arsenal laid out on the conveyor belt: Kleenex, tea, honey, cough drops, Airborne (3 flavors), soup, Advil, Chloraseptic, Robitussin, Lysol wipes, orange juice and 7-Up.

Yes, we are suffering with the flu here. All of us, except the grandkids; they came down with it Christmas night and have since recovered. I’m glad they’re good kids and understand the concept of sharing, but this is one thing I wish they would have kept to themselves.

Today will be spent vying for the remote and attempting baskets with wadded up tissues. Naps will be taken, as will temperatures; and the only alcohol consumed will be from doses of cough syrup.

Happy Flu Year!

Don’t forget to leave a comment for the Give-Away if you haven’t already done so. A winner will be picked tomorrow.

AND, have a safe, happy…and healthy New Year.

New Year’s Day Give-Away…

2010-12-29T08:22:00.001+05:30

I did a Give-Away about a month ago when I got back from India. Part of the reason was to share some things that I had brought back; the other was to try and find out who has been reading this blog. A scant few of you left a comment and I thank you. The rest of you…well, here’s a second chance.

I’m getting ready to go back in less than a week. I may be back for a visit around Easter, or mayhaps not until the end of June. Either way, there will most likely not be another Give-Away until I’m back in the states. It’s not that I’m too cheap to spend the money on the postage; it’s more that I don’t trust that what I send will make it to its intended destination.

Any-Hulu, during the last month or so not only have I eaten foods not available in India and caught up with friends and family, I’ve caught up on numerous TV shows. One, which some of you may be aware of, is a show on NBC called ‘Outsourced’. The premise: an American based company’s call center has been outsourced to India and the lone American working there is trying to understand Indian culture. Humor ensues and it’s quite entertaining, though it’s obvious that it’s filmed in the U.S. and the background scenes are not.

What you may not be aware of is that this series is based on a film, of the same name, that was released in 2006. I watched it on NetFlix after already visiting India last January and before finding out that I’d be moving there. Paul watched it too after working in India for almost a year. We both found it fairly accurate as to what to expect, but with a nice American sugary coating. It has a decent plot and is an enjoyable movie to watch with a big bowl of curry spiced popcorn.

What I’m trying to say is this Give-Away’s prize is the DVD of Outsourced (the movie). Again, the reason for this Give-Away is to get some of you to comment, but it’s also a way to share this movie...either you’ll win it or you’ll be intrigued enough to want to buy or rent it.

So here’s out this goes. In order to be entered you must…

FIRST:

Leave a comment here. Not sure how…let me tell you again.

1: Click on ‘Comment’ at the bottom of this post.

2: Write your comment in the large box.

3: Type in the ‘Word Verification’

4: Click on ‘Name/URL’ and type in your name.

Again, if you absolutely can’t figure this out, you can send your comment to Lfabsits (at) Yahoo (dot) com.

SECOND:

Leave a comment about a movie that you would recommend. Is there something you’ve seen recently? Maybe there’s a classic you could watch over and over again? Some obscure film that no one’s heard of?

THIRD:

Leave your comment on THIS post, by midnight December 31^st…it doesn’t matter what time zone as I won’t be checking them until late ~~morning~~ afternoon January 1^st, 2011.

FOURTH:

Winner will be chosen via Random Generator unless I receive comments via email, in which case one of my grandchildren will pull a name from a hat, a bowl or a soggy snow boot.

Tired of the Holiday Season…

2010-12-24T11:33:00.000+05:30

…and think it’s dragged out too long?

If so, move along little doggy, move along; this post is not for you.

If, on the other hand, you love small children (high on the sugary goodness of candy canes and cookies) ~~attempting~~ singing Christmas songs, watch the following.

She finally gave up after 28 days...

We’re happy to announce that an intervention wasn’t necessary and she finally put down the guitar on her own.

The Christmas Construction Company…

2010-12-22T06:08:00.000+05:30

Union elves and supervisors hard at work.

Completion of a project well done.

Shoddy construction or vandalism? You be the judge.

Tis the Season…

2010-12-21T02:25:00.000+05:30

…for family.

We went to the (‘the’ being pronounced THEE) family Christmas party yesterday. This event has been going on for the last 48 years.

“Wow! Forty eight years? That’s a long time.”

Why yes, it is a long time. For those of you reading that are a part of this family, you’ve got a Get out of Jail card and can skip this post. For the others, unless you’ve got fifty bucks or roll doubles, you’re stuck…unless, of course, you click on the ‘X’ at the top of your screen…

Any-Hooville, here’s the scoop. My mother is one of ten children.

“Wow! Ten children? That’s a lot of kids.”

Why yes, it is. Then add two step sisters into the mix (No, they’re not wicked, nor was there a step mother.) and you’ve got an even dozen. Now every Christmas or Christmas Eve they got together with their mother, Alice. As each one married and had children of their own, the family grew larger and larger. Getting together required some logistics, so it was decided that whoever had ‘mom’ over for the holiday would be where everyone went. They called it the ‘Grandma Alice Christmas Party’ and the first one was 48 years ago.

Over time the venue has changed; it’s been decades since we’ve been able to fit in someone’s house. For quite a while it was held in the back room of Johnny's Tavern, in Chicago. Not the kind of place you’d think of for a Christmas party, but it was perfect. There was plenty of room for us youngsters to run around and a bar up front for the adults to sneak away to. We eventually outgrew Johnny’s and getting together on Christmas day. It’s been over twenty years since we’ve moved to having the party at a banquet hall and the weekend before Christmas.

Though the date and place have changed, you can still count on the traditions that were started back in 1962.

Carols will be sung and the children will gather for a reading of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas’…

…followed by a visit from Santa.

During the party everyone visits with family they see everyday and family they haven’t seen since the year before. Sometimes it’s hard to keep all the names straight, especially since we keep multiplying. Four new babies this past year!

The time passes quickly and before you know it, a piñata is being hung marking the end of the party. While the children are scrambling on the floor for candy and toys, adults are scrambling for coats and that last hug good bye.

“Wow! Your family does this every year? That’s a long lasting tradition.”

Why, yes it is. All inspired by one woman, who not only taught her children the value of family, but instilled in them the meaning of it.

What's Up with That...

2010-12-17T06:17:00.000+05:30

I got an email from Delta Air Lines today; my quarterly statement for my Sky Miles. As a holiday gift they are giving me complimentary Gogo Inflight Internet. How cool is that?

The thing is it’s only good from now until January 2^nd…and we fly back to India on January 3^rd. How cold is that?

You Say Potato…

2010-12-15T08:41:00.000+05:30

Porn Potato

Potato Porn

Gives new meaning to the term sack of potatoes, just sayin’!

Other found porn if you’re so inclined…

Accesorized Druid Porn

Up, up and Awaaay

What's Up Pussycat

Quick Get Away…

2010-12-11T03:01:00.001+05:30

I escaped with one of my BFF’s to Galena, Illinois for a couple of days.

An adorable house is the country.

With a big, comfy bed.

A view out my window…

…with deer walking by mere feet away.

A winter wonderland here...

…and in town.

Maybe we’ll get snowed in and have to stay a bit longer.

Give-Away…

2010-12-08T04:57:00.000+05:30

The prize:

One Package of Mouth Freshener:

After a meal in India (and most Indian restaurants here), you’ll find a small bowl of this put on your table. Used to both freshen your breath and settle your tummy, you scoop a small amount onto your hand and pop them in your mouth. There are a several types of these on the market; some have just fennel seeds, and others have a variety of seeds. They can be coated with a layer of sugar or plain. I have also seen the plain ones served along side a bowl of sugar crystals

One Indian Side Dish:

Either Navaratan Korma, which is mixed vegetable and paneer (cheese) in sauce; or Aloo Mutter; Aloo (potatoes) with tomatoes and peas in a sauce. Just warm in the microwave or on the stove top and enjoy.

One Bag of Aloo Bhujia;

A spicy mint flavored snack made from potatoes. I actually haven’t tried these yet, so let me know how they are.

A Package of Tea, A Decorative Garland and Incense:

Nothing special; just plain tea….but from India!

Marigolds are widely used in India for religious decorations and offerings. I’ve often seen garlands like these used in lieu of fresh flowers.

India has a rich tradition of incense making that goes back thousands of years, and here’s a sample.

A One, Two and Five Rupee Coin with a Ten Rupee Bill:

A whopping forty cents USD.

The winners:

Congrats to Blondfabulous, Kheris and Headless Mom. Please send your mailing information to: Lfabsits (AT) Yahoo (DOT) com.

Namaste~

Pumped Up on Steroids….

2010-12-06T04:36:00.000+05:30

As part of my treatment for this whole ear thing I’m on steroids. I’m none too happy about some of the side effects, which include dizziness and a whirling sensation. Great; wasn’t that the original problem? Other side effects include increased sweating and feeling flushed in the face. Great again; that just goes along so well with my hot flashes.

One of the upsides, though, is excess energy. After doing a lot of nothing for the last week and a half, today was another story. In addition to making a cake, I also made brushetta for a half time snack and dinner; all the while bumping into walls and cabinets with the dizziness. I can’t wait to see how many bruises will show up tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow, it’s the last day of my Give-Away. For a chance to win ~~one of three exciting packages~~ something from India, go here.

Namaste~

Randomness…

2010-12-04T05:19:00.000+05:30

I went to the ear doctor for the third time this week. From what I understand I have an inflammation in my right ear that has caused the hearing loss (permanent), ringing and dizziness (hopefully not permanent). This inflammation was caused from some type of (unknown) viral infection. I think. He used medical mumbo jumbo speak instead of talking in layman’s terms, leaving me a bit unclear. Why can’t some doctors talk to you in a language that you can understand? I think Rosetta Stone should take a look into this market.

I was feeling a little better yesterday so I did everyone’s laundry. Nothing interesting about that, but it did remind me of this picture I submitted for a blog contest last year. Yes, my front loaders can fit a big ass load.

Paul started shopping for a car in India the other day. He told me he checked them out by sitting in the back seat. Why bother sitting in the front since he won’t be the one driving it?

I’m actually starting to miss Indian food.

Fraughter and her friends started a club…The Mango Club; it stands for Mothers Against Never Getting Out. They had their first meeting last weekend at a bar. The next morning I asked her if she had a mangover.

Speaking of Fraughter, she started decorating…BEFORE Thanksgiving.

Timing is everything. Paul and I will be leaving just when it’s time to take everything down.

(Don’t forget to leave a comment on this post for a chance to win a ~~fabulous~~ prize package from India!)

Give-Away…

2010-12-02T07:45:00.001+05:30

Stuff from India…

…I don’t know if it’s necessarily good stuff; but it’s free. Read on.

I started this blog in June of 2008 as something to do while my husband traveled 50% of the time for his job. Since then there have been times where I have posted religiously and others where I was just too busy with real life to do so. Since my move to India I’ve been posting more frequently and find that I have quite a few people following my adventure.

I haven’t done a Give-Away or contest in quite some time and figure now’s as good a time as any to change that. Part of the reason is to share a taste of India, and the other is to flush some of you out of the woodwork. Yeah, I know there are quite a few people reading that don’t comment here or on FaceBook. I don’t know who you all are, but my StatCounter shows me how many visitors I get.

So here’s how this Give-Away is going to work. I have three packages of goodies from India; that means three winners. For a chance at winning one, all you have to do is leave a comment on this post by 7:00 pm CST, Monday, December 6^th. It doesn’t matter what you say. It can be a simple hello, or you can tell me I’m crazy for moving to India, or that you think lima beans are yucky. Just leave a comment and three winners will be picked randomly and announced the next day.

Don’t know how to leave a comment? It’s easy peasy:

First: Click on ‘Comment’ at the bottom of this post.

Second: Write your comment in the large box.

Third: Type in the ‘Word Verification’

Fourth: Click on ‘Name/URL’ and type in your name.

Now if you absolutely can not figure this out you can email your comment to: Lfabsits (AT) yahoo (DOT) com.

I’ll be using a Random Generator if all entries are on this post. In the case where some are sent via email I will have my grandchildren draw the names from a hat…or a bowl…or whatever is handy at the time.

Good luck and don’t be shy.

** Time's Up.

Dizzy…

2010-12-01T05:41:00.001+05:30

I woke up Thanksgiving morning and could barely get out of bed. The room was spinning and my ears were ringing. I felt nauseous and grabbed onto the wall as I made my way to the bathroom. After struggling to get the turkey stuffed and into the oven I hit the sofa. Thank goodness I had Fraughter to help with the rest of the meal.

Sounds like I celebrated on Black Wednesday a little too much, doesn’t it? But the truth is I didn’t. I didn’t even leave the house. What I had, and continue to have, is vertigo.

For anyone that doesn’t know what vertigo feels like, let me try to describe it. Imagine walking through one of those revolving tunnels at a fun house…for hours. You’re unsteady on your feet and it can seem like everything around you is spinning. Without the help of a wall or piece of furniture to hold you steady it’s easy to fall. At times, while sitting perfectly still, your head will just drop to one side. And if that’s not enough, add in nausea and vomiting.

That’s what I’ve been dealing with for almost a week; that and a stuffed up feeling in my right ear along with tinnitus. At times I can almost block out the ringing and at others it’s like the Cicadas are in season.

I was able to get into the ear doctor yesterday. This is the same doctor I saw four years ago for the same problem. Back then he thought that it could be Meniere’s Disease, but my symptoms went away after a month or so and I didn’t go back to him…until now. Apparently I have a noticeable loss of hearing in my right ear since being tested four years ago and I’m scheduled for a VNG test on Thursday. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I get a diagnoses and treatment quickly because this is really messing up my visit home.

Things I Am Thankful For Today…

2010-11-26T07:05:00.000+05:30

The fact that I am in the states and will be having turkey, as opposed to being in India and eating chicken…again.

Having an oven big enough to cook said turkey in, as opposed to cooking in a toaster oven.

Drinking real coffee with granulated sugar and half-n-half, as opposed to instant with sugar crystals and non dairy creamer.

Getting ice from an automatic ice maker, as opposed to boiling water and then pouring it into trays.

Washing a week’s worth of laundry in one load, as opposed to five.

Doing the dishes by way of dishwasher, as opposed to washing them in the sink with no hot running water.

Being able to jump in the car and go where I want, as opposed to finding a rickshaw driver that understands enough English to get me where I want.

Talking to people in the same time zone, as opposed to calculating the time difference before enabling Magic Jack or stalking people through Chat on FaceBook.

Hearing Christmas music, as opposed to Bollywood music.

Watching new episodes of TV shows, as opposed to watching Season 1 of a show that’s been out for five years.

Seeing my grandchildren with a full plate of food, as opposed to seeing children begging on the street.

Getting hugs and kisses in person, as opposed to getting them sent through the internet.

Happy Thanksgiving.

I Haven’t Dropped Off the Planet…

2010-11-23T23:10:00.000+05:30

…just flew to the other side; and boy are my arms tired. (Sorry, that’s the jet lag talking.)

Instead of boring you with the details of my trip home or how much Charles De Gaulle airport sucks, you get this: My new granddaughter, Joanna Christine, just thirty minutes old.

Father and Daughter.

Grandson, Andrew, with his new cousin…

…and granddaughter, Isabelle, with her new cousin

The hardest thing about living in India is not the language barrier or different customs. It’s not the absence of beef or pork. It’s not being careful to avoid getting dysentery from unclean water or malaria from mosquitoes. No, the hardest part is being so far from the ones you love and all that that entails.

My new little princess; isn’t she perfect?

This Trumps All…

2010-11-17T21:08:00.001+05:30

Two blog posts within hours of each other?!? I know; I’m breaking the rules of Emily “Post” blog etiquette. Not something I would normally do but…BUT? My son and his girlfriend are at the hospital expecting their first child! Last I heard she was dilated 5 and just got an epidural.

My flight home was booked for a week before her delivery date and then, after her last ultrasound, they moved it up a week. I’ve been keeping my fingers crossed (and hoping she’d keep her legs crossed) until I got home.

I’m so excited and frustrated at the same time. I’m pacing (I’m sure my son is pacing also) and waiting for the phone to ring…except my phone is hooked up to Magic Jack, which is relying on my internet connection through a data card…which is not always reliable.

Damn, where is the Concorde when you need it?

**Update…

My third grandchild was just born via emergency C-section at approximately 10:10 a.m. CST, and it’s a girl!

Randomness, Day Two…

2010-11-17T18:33:00.000+05:30

A few days ago Paul called and told me not to make dinner; his rickshaw driver and his wife had made us a meal. When Paul got home later that day I asked, “What’s for dinner?” to which he replied, “Mutton, honey.”

Now I’m all for trying new food and the sauce that it was in smelled really good, but I wavered and said, “You first.” Paul tried a piece and chewed for a bit, and chewed a bit more, and then spit it out. He said though it tasted good, it was mostly fat and cartilage. We’re probably going to hell since we threw it out and there are so many starving people here.

I know, right? Do not pass go, do not collect wings, go directly to hell.

This was dinner last night: Chutney Chicken, Aloo Mutter and Onion Paratha.

No, I’m not cooking Indian food yet, though I have tried two dishes from scratch. For now I’m finding these ready made mixes and sides very helpful…

…though not as good as restaurant food.

Speaking of restaurant food, only a few more days...I think I'll order a big steak. No, maybe a bacon cheeseburger. Or pizza; that sounds good. Perhaps roast pork with dumplings and gravy. Turkey and stuffing. Glazed ham....

Namaste~

Things To Do, Places To Go, People To See…

2010-11-16T17:58:00.000+05:30

I’ll be on a plane heading for the states early on the 19^th; as in 3:00 a.m. early. I have things to take care of before I leave and jet lag to deal with once I get there, so my next few posts will be a bunch of randomness. Ready?

When the owner of this flat was showing me around she pointed out that there was a blender/mixer I could use.

Uh thanks, but no. That would entail cleaning it first and just… no. But thank you. Instead we bought our own…

…then improved the ice situation…

…and tried to make Pina Coladas.

Except coconut cream is not cream of coconut, it is coconut milk. Let me just say is was a waste of good Bacardi.

Speaking of milk, it is sold here in cartons like this one. You won’t find it in the refrigerated section, but down one of the aisles…near the non refrigerated eggs…of which some still have chicken poop on them.

Speaking of bird poop, I’ve cleaned the damn terrace four days in a row now. Ah, but it’s worth it to enjoy the view in the evening. I look down and see children at the playground and others playing soccer or cricket and yet more taking swimming lessons. Beyond that are the birds in the estuary, then the ships in Mumbai Harbour, and last, but not least, the glow of the sun as it disappears into the horizon.

Heads up: I have a Give-Away coming up!

The Terrace...

2010-11-13T09:56:00.000+05:30

I spent almost an hour cleaning the terrace this morning; it’s not that it’s all that large but it’s an arduous project none the less. It gets covered in dust and pigeon poop fairly quick, and what I have to work with doesn’t make the job easy.

This is my broom. Try as I have to find a normal one at the mall, I can’t. Paul wonders why I don’t just use the one I flew over on. What ev.

So I sweep first and then proceed to wet it down with this, which doesn’t reach very far. Also, if I try to put my thumb over the tip of the hose to ‘spray’ the water, the hose comes off the spigot.

For the areas I can’t get with the hose, I use a bucket. I then put a Scotch scrub pad under my foot and scrub an area at a time, which I rinse with a bucket of water thrown in the direction of the drain. I can’t move too quickly because: A. It takes a while to fill up the bucket with water; and B. The tile is highly polished and I’ll fall on my ass if I’m not careful.

The result is a nice clean terrace. Now if we could only find some patio furniture…

You Can't Compare Apples to Oranges...

2010-11-11T17:50:00.000+05:30

...or oranges to oranges for that matter.

Hello There…

2010-11-10T21:57:00.000+05:30

“I appreciate your visit, but I’m not quite ready for company just yet. Well, since you’re here, you might as well come on in.”

“Follow me into the kitchen; I was just going to make a cup of coffee.”

“Would you care for a cup? It’s instant, but that’s all I have.”

“No? How about a nice cold drink? I have (ahem) an ice maker. See?”

“I agree; it’s not (finger quotes) an automatic ice maker, but it is what it is.”

“Of course if you want a cold drink just keep in mind that you will be using ALL the ice.”

“Nothing to drink? Suit yourself, but at least let me give you the 10 rupee tour. This is my cook top.”

“No, there’s no oven; it’s my understanding that most Indian kitchens don’t have one. I suppose there’s room for one beneath the cook top, but where would the propane tanks go?”

“So on the other side is the sink, microwave and more cabinets. Please don’t look down at the floor though; I haven’t finished cleaning the grout. Hey, I asked you not to look! Sheesh. Now I know it’s not quite obvious, but the height of the counter tops is 6” shorter than the standard at home. Not a big deal for me at 5’2”, but Paul has a hard time with it”

“Above the sink is our water filtration system. I’m pretty sure the water out of the tap is fine, but better safe than sorry, ya know? Speaking of the tap, just because there are two handles there, doesn’t mean they both work. Apparently the owner didn’t see the need to install a geyser, so there’s no hot water in the kitchen. Remember that coffee pot I showed you? Yeah, I use that when I want to wash dishes too.”

“Over here, to the left of where you walked in, is a window. This is my view. It’s nice, but I need to get some curtains. Not only would it add some color to the drab gray in here, it’ll also keep the neighbors from seeing me walk around in my underwear at night.”

“If you look down out the window, you can see the rooftop of the lower level. They used a mosaic of broken ceramic tiles which I find quite interesting.”

“Anyweird, opposite the window is a door that leads out to an enclosed balcony of sorts.”

“It’s basically a storage area, but our dryer is out there. We couldn’t have it inside because there was nowhere to vent it. Paul opened the window enough to stick the ‘hose’ out, but we have to be careful at night with the light on so the mosquitoes don’t come in, and during the day with the pigeons.”

“Where’s the washing machine? It’s in the bathroom just before you came into the kitchen. It’s a front loader, but it’s not nearly as big as the one I have in the states. I can fit two bath towels, a hand towel and a wash cloth in it, but that’s it.”

“Thanks again for stopping by. I’m sorry you can’t stay longer; but I know it’s a long ride home. Feel free to come again once I’ve had a chance to tidy up the place.”

Namaste~

NOTE: Paul came home from work today with a nice big toaster oven! Wish me luck while I’m converting Fahrenheit to Celsius.

Oops, you noticed the bottle of Bacardi? Well what do you expect, I’m living in India for Pete’s sake.

Yesterday…

2010-11-09T17:58:00.000+05:30

Paul went back to work after the long holiday weekend and I was all set to enjoy my first day here alone…

…that is until my doorbell rang six times.

Six Times!

First a man came to pick up my garbage. How nice. No need to bring it out to the dumpster; the complex sends a man around to every unit, every day.

About an hour later the bell rang again. This time there were two men that spoke to me in Hindi. After they realized that I didn’t understand them, one of them held up some mail in one hand and money in the other and said, “Diwali.” Apparently Diwali is like Christmas and I was supposed to tip them. I shook my head ‘no’ and tried to tell them I had just moved in. After they left, I realized I probably should have given them something just to ensure we received our mail in the future.

The third time it rang, it was the propane wala. The owner had told me that he comes about every two weeks so there was no need for us to communicate, or so I thought. After he switched out one of the tanks and I paid him he proceeded to speak. I shook my head and asked, “English?” Well no such luck. He just kept talking and I just kept telling him I didn’t understand. He finally rolled his eyes and turned toward the elevator. I closed the door and then wondered if he was looking for a Diwali tip too.

I got a reprieve for a couple of hours until the phone rang. With much effort from both parties, I finally comprehended that it was the technician the owner had called to fix the pump for the ‘rain shower’. About five minutes before he was expected, I got a call from the security gate. Though this person claimed to speak English, they didn’t. Finally, after several minutes, they let him into the complex.

Now while the technician and his worker were downstairs in one of the bathrooms, the doorbell rang again. WTF? This time it was a guy with a replacement drawer for the new refrigerator. Now he didn’t speak a lick of English either, but he had paperwork with him that I could read.

Last, but not least, the men showed up with our new mattress. It wouldn’t fit in the elevator so they had to carry it up twelve flights of stairs. Thank goodness Paul got home then and dealt with it.

English may be the national language in India, but most people I’ve encountered speak very little of it or none at all. This just confirms the fact that it would probably be a good idea to dish out the $500.00 for Rosetta Stone.

On another note, Paul came home with a bunch of homemade goodies. His rickshaw driver’s wife sent them as a thank you for the Diwali gifts I bought for their children. I don't know what they are called, but I call them delicious!

It’s Time to Celebrate…

2010-11-08T20:25:00.000+05:30

It’s the middle of Diwali, we moved into our flat, and this is my 300^th post!

Diwali, what’s that you ask? It’s a five day festival that reminds me of both Christmas and the Fourth of July. There are bright colored lights hanging from windows and buildings, people buy each other gifts and fireworks are being blown off late into the night, every night. If you’re curious and would like a more accurate description, click ‘here’.

Speaking of Diwali and our new flat, here’s the entrance just outside the elevator. Someone from the complex came and decorated with colorful powders and candles for the holiday. (The swastika symbol? Nothing to do with Nazis.)

So we finally moved into our flat and what an experience it has been thus far. On our first night there was a thunder storm with rain so severe we found ourselves mopping up buckets of water that came cascading in through one of the windows. If that wasn’t bad enough, the power went out. Not knowing how long it would be before it came back on; we stumbled about with the glow from one small flashlight and managed to get our new sheets on the bed. Right when we decided to call it a night, it came back on.

It was almost better being in total darkness because once I got a good look around it made my skin crawl. In the whirl wind of trying to find a place to live and looking at so many flats, we really didn’t pay close attention to detail; and by detail, I mean dirt. There are years of built up grease and gunk in the kitchen, and not just on the floors or walls, but inside the cabinets too. I’m so glad we made them replace the refrigerator and cook top, at least those are clean. And it doesn't end there. Every nook and cranny of this place needs to be scoured.

If you think I’m exaggerating, take a look. This is a section of the tile on the wall in the kitchen. Can you guess which one I scrubbed?

The floor before….

…and after.

Mark my words, by the time I’m done you’ll be able to eat off the floor…or at least be able to implement the 5 second rule.

Now if you’re not cringing along with me, let me end this post with something I saw the last day we were at the hotel.

What, not so bad? Let me pan out a bit.

Namaste~

OSHA, Unions and Child Labor Laws…

2010-11-02T16:05:00.000+05:30

…not so big in India.

Construction, whether the project is large or small, seems to be a slow and arduous process here. The simplest of tools are not always available, as I witnessed from the window of our last hotel. Lack of safety made me cringe at this hotel and seeing the lives some children made me cry.

I watched a stone wall get built the old fashioned way. Five men dug a trench about three feet deep and approximately 200 feet long; while one used a pick the others had only sharpened sticks to work with. The loosened dirt was removed when they scooped it into large bowls and carried it away on their heads. Once the trench was dug (three days later) they hand mixed cement using water that had to be carried in, and the heavy stones were set in place. The whole project took about a week and a half.

A quite larger project can be seen outside the window of the current hotel we’re in. From the billboard displayed, this building will have 15 stories when it’s completed. Construction began about a year ago and they now have the skeleton for eight of the floors. This is common here, one story at a time. It is also common for buildings to be occupied while still under construction. Paul’s office is located on the second story of a building where the third is still under way. Talk about building from the ground up.

If using bamboo for scaffolding doesn’t seem safe, take a look at how it’s used here. Also note the lack of any safety harnesses.

A lot of road work is done by hand, instead of with machinery, because labor is cheap. Entire families will travel to the city for these jobs; and it is not just the men you see working, but women and children too.

Namaste~

From Hell To Heaven…

2010-11-01T13:50:00.000+05:30

By Friday night I had had enough. After living out of, or should I say ‘in’, the same hotel for 25 days I drew the proverbial line. I just could not take one. more. day. of. it.

Now don’t get me wrong. I knew moving to India would be an adjustment, and a big one at that. I also knew that I would be staying in a hotel until we found a place to live; though I didn’t realize just how long that could take. I also didn’t realize that said hotel would be located in an area that prevented me from leaving it on my own; or would have frequent power and satellite outages; or that there’d be no water when I wanted to shower; or that the power to the gym equipment would be terminated; or that elevator music would be playing on the speakers outside my room at a volume of “11”; or that the restaurant staff would continually mess with me. No, I didn’t expect any of that. So this past Friday when I was literally served slop for dinner I put my foot down.

I am happy to say that we are now in a five star hotel that is in walking distance to the mall and numerous restaurants. Some of you may wonder why we didn’t come here weeks ago. Let me tell you why. Paul is quite the conscientious employee and this hotel cost twice what the other one did. I think knowing that we’d be here a week or less made it easier for him to make the move…that and the fact that I refused to speak to him. Silence may be golden, but when it’s coming from a person about to go over the edge, you listen up.

Today I am going to walk to the mall and shop for a few things we’ll need for our new flat…which we should be in by the end of the week. And if that’s not something to make me happy, this sure was.

Yes, that is bacon on my plate and Paul had a steak sandwich for lunch yesterday! Neither were even close to what you get in the states, but Holy Cow and Suey! we were happy.

Namaste~

Unleashing The Kraken...

2010-10-29T23:02:00.000+05:30

I wasn’t planning on posting anything today. I spent a good part of my day finishing off the last 300 or so pages of ‘The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo”, which I highly recommend. The remainder was spent being frustrated that there was no running water in the hotel when I decided to shower. Yeah. I can deal with power outages and no satellite TV; but when it comes to no water? I get hot and bothered and my face gets flushed…unlike the toilet.

AnyH2O, I finally turned on my computer and perused the recent entries on CrackBook. I was immediately assaulted with the reason I didn’t want to participate in the first place. Before I share what I read, let me tell you that after over a year of people telling me that I needed to ‘join’, I only agreed to do so because of my move to India. Yes, it’s a great way to keep in touch with people, but it’s also unleashing the Kraken…

“My roommate is at it aain watching jerry pringer i swear that show is for ppl who have nothing else going on in thier lives and its for ppl with low manalities”

Okay. I can understand the lack of punctuation, and capitalization, and abbreviations, and misspellings…to a point. But if you’re going to bash someone for having a low “mentality”, then display a better one yourself.

Randomness…

2010-10-28T18:20:00.000+05:30

I keep seeing a group of birds circling in the distance. I don’t know what species they are, but I know they’re fairly large if I can see them from so far away. Are they falcons, hawks, eagles? They’ve certainly piqued my curiosity. If only one would come a bit closer.

I kept watch for over a week and finally one came all the way to my windowsill…and I missed it! How do I know it was there? Why he left me a ~~big~~ little something:

This hotel is really stingy with ice, and most of it is melted by the time I get it.

They’re stingy with toilet paper too. This is a full roll.

I do have an option if I run out; I just don’t think I’m ready to go that route yet.

In other bathroom related news; Indian men do not need toilet paper, or even a toilet for that matter. What you see in this picture is very common here and I’ve seen it more times than I can count.

Although living out of an hotel sucks there are some advantages.

There’s a good chance we’ll be able to move into the flat next week. I’m keeping my fingers crossed; and my toes and eyes and legs and arms and…

McDonald's India…

2010-10-27T15:43:00.000+05:30

During my first week here I saw a commercial for the “McAloo Tikki Burger”; one of the vegetarian items on the McDonald's menu. I told myself that when the opportunity presented itself, I would try one. That opportunity came up the other day when we were at the mall.

I placed my order for the McAloo, along with an iced tea and potato wedges…all which were on the ‘Happy Price Menu’. This menu is equivalent to the Dollar Menu in the United States, but cheaper. My entire order came to 75 Rs, or $1.69 USD. Not bad. The McAloo Tikki Burger on the other hand was. Well, it’s not that it was really bad, it was just bland.

What, exactly, is a McAloo Tikki Burger? It’s a burger made of potatoes (aloo), peas and spices served on a bun with tomato, onion and a vegetarian mayonnaise. I have no idea what is in the mayonnaise, I can only assume that eggs are not.

Will I try it again? Never say never, but probably not. What else could one expect to find on the McDonald's menu? Here’s a little taste:

Vegetarian

"McCurry Pan"

Rectangular shaped crust that is topped with a creamy sauce, mushrooms, and vegetables including broccoli, baby corn, and red bell pepper. It is baked until the crust is crisp and the toppings are hot and bubbly.

“Pizza McPuff”

Rectangular shaped crust, but instead of a creamy sauce, it’s flavored with a tomato-based sauce and topped with carrots, beans, bell peppers, onions, peas and mozzarella cheese.

“Paneer Salsa Wrap”

Small slab of paneer (cheese) dredged in a coating that is a cross between Mexican and Cajun in flavor. It is fried and then wrapped in flatbread and topped with a salad mixture that includes lettuce, red cabbage and celery, then finished with vegetarian mayonnaise, salsa and cheddar cheese.

“McVeggie”

Patty made from peas, carrots, green beans, red bell pepper, potatoes, onions, rice, and seasoning on a sesame seed bun; garnished with lettuce and mayonnaise.

“Crispy Chinese”

A vegetarian patty topped with a creamy Schezwan sauce and lettuce.

Non-Veg

“Chicken McCurry Pan”

Same as its vegetarian version, it starts off with a rectangle of dough and is topped with a tomato-curry sauce, spiced with thyme, basil, and oregano, then finished off with chicken, bell peppers, and cheese and is baked until crisp and bubbly.

“Maharaja Mac”

The Indian version of the Big Mac is made with 2 grilled chicken patties and is topped with onions, tomatoes, cheese and a spicy mayonnaise. It was originally made with lamb but is now made with chicken.

“Chicken McGrill”

A thin grilled chicken patty; embellished with cilantro mayonnaise, onions and tomatoes and served on a toasted bun.

“McSurprise Burger”

This is a new item. It consists of a mutton patty, onion and Italian mayonnaise.

What’s that you ask, “Where’s the beef?” There isn’t any; or any pork for that matter. Cows are sacred to Hindus and Muslims are forbidden from eating pork; so nixay on the bacon cheeseburger. Another thing about McDonald's over here; because a large percentage of Indians are vegetarian, the preparation of the vegetarian items are done in a separate area from the meat. In fact, the cooks preparing vegetarian dishes wear a distinctive green apron.

Can you guess where I’ll be driving through when I visit the states next month? You got it; right through those golden arches.

Elephanta Island…

2010-10-26T17:35:00.000+05:30

...is just over six miles, by way of boat or ferry, from the Gateway of India. It was given its present name by Portuguese explorers back in the 17^th century because of a monolithic sculpture of an elephant that used to be at the entrance to the caves; I say ‘used to’ as this sculpture is no longer there. The Portuguese apparently needed to bring it home as a souvenir, but ended up dropping it into the sea because their chains weren’t strong enough. It has since been rescued and resides at the Dr. Bhau Daji lad Museum in Mumbai. In ancient times the island was known as Gharapuri Island, meaning a place of caves. There are a total of seven on the island, carved from solid basalt rock and have been dated to between the 5th and 8th centuries. Here are a few photographs of the three we went through.

Guides are available on the island for a fee, but not necessary. Their rates are high, 2,500 Rs, but can be negotiated down as we found out. You can also purchase a guide book from one of the numerous vendors on your way to the caves. These vendors line both sides of the path leading up…a fairly long path including 120 steep steps…and sell a variety of souvenirs at inflated prices, so expect to bargain. I paid a price of 800 Rs for two ankle bracelets from a woman who wanted 1,500 Rs for just one.

In addition to the amazing caves and shopping experience, you’ll get an upfront view of the local wildlife. Just don’t try to touch them and be careful with any food you have; they are quite the opportunists.

In addition to everything we learned that day, we found out that paying a little extra for a ‘luxury boat’ with an upper deck and a nice breeze doesn't mean you'll get back any sooner...

...making a long day, longer; but not any less fun.

(So out of curiosity, how many of you spent more time looking at that third monkey picture than all the others combined?)

My Trip To Mumbai…

2010-10-25T18:20:00.000+05:30

We made the trip over to Mumbai on Saturday as planned. We were joined by Claudiu; a young man that is here from Romania and working with Paul. We were already in the back seat of the taxi when we picked up Claudiu from the train station, so he had to sit up front with the driver. Back in the states you may call that riding shotgun; here it’s referred to as the suicide seat.

The ride took about an hour, and as I expected it was far from boring. Traffic in India, to sum it up in a word, is insane. While traveling at speeds that normal circumstances wouldn’t allow, I find it best to look at it as an amusement ride…albeit a ride without safety brakes or a seat belt that is. Once resigned to this it’s easier to enjoy the views; though it never ceases to amaze me how I find myself marveling at one moment and shaking my head in disbelief the next. Maybe this will change after I’m here for a while, but I doubt it.

So here I am, after almost three weeks in India, and it still seems so surreal. I think a lot of visitors here feel the same way, so it was interesting when I found myself face to face with a white man while we were stopped at a red light (Keep in mind that the vehicles are so close to each other that when I say face to face, it should be taken literally). We looked at each other for a second before he asked where we were from. After telling him that Paul and I were from the United States and Claudiu was from Romania, he told me that he and his companions were from Russia. We gave one another a knowing look, smiled and then were moving again.

Our driver finally dropped us at the Gateway of India, which was built to commemorate the visit of King George V and Queen Mary to Bombay. You can read about it here if you’re interested.

This is the Taj Mahal Palace and Tower which is adjacent to the gateway….

…where the terrorist attack of November 26, 2008 took place…

(Above found on and borrowed from Google Images)

…and where President Obama will be staying on his upcoming visit to Mumbai.

After paying 2 Rupees to use an authentic Indian restroom (FYI: I make it a habit to always have tissues and wet wipes in my purse!)…

…we boarded a very crowded boat en route to Elephanta Island.

Until next time…

Just A Quick Note…

2010-10-23T09:29:00.000+05:30

Miraculously the smoggy Indian skies parted and one of the Hindu gods shined down upon me. The power remained on all day yesterday AND the satellite came back on at about 10:00 a.m.

We’re planning on going to Mumbai today; we’re actually in Navi Mumbai, to see the Gate of India and hopefully Elephanta Island. I checked the forecast and it’s going to be a balmy 33 degrees Celsius with 90% humidity…and smoggy. I lied about the Indian skies parting, it seems like the smog never lifts here.

That’s all for now, I need to get my sari on and it’s a bitch to get all that fabric wrapped around me…just kidding. A cool white cotton blouse and capris are the apparel for the day.

Namaste~

Keeping A Sense Of Humor…

2010-10-22T14:12:00.000+05:30

I ordered pasta for lunch yesterday. The waiter suggested I do the buffet as the hot station was serving noodles that day. They had penne and gemelli with a choice of sauces; cheese or Arrabbiata. I asked if I could have a little of each, and then made clear that I did not want them mixed together…at least I thought I made myself clear. What they brought to my table was a combination of both pastas AND both sauces. I think I just need to surrender and order Indian food from here on out, at least if they mess that up I won’t know the difference.

Let me share a little something with you. Indian women seem to be worse than men in the states when it comes to leaving the toilet seat up and the floor wet. As most of you may know, using toilet paper here is the exception; the left hand being the rule. Along with the south paw wipe they use water from a spray hose, spigot or bucket; thus the wet floors. As far as the seat being left up, they squat here. Don’t think I don’t know that most women squat in public restrooms; it’s just that Indian toilets (i.e. squat toilets) do not have seats. Therefore I don’t think they’re used to putting them back down. Confused? Take a look at these two gems:

Beginner's Guide to the Indian Toilet How to use an Eastern Latrine

I’ve literally been burning through my cigarette supply these last couple of weeks. What I packed actually had me wondering if I’d get stopped at customs on the way in so I had my appeal all ready. “No, I am not looking to sell these in your country. I swear I will smoke…Every. Single. One.” I’m sure that at least half of you reading this will tell me it’s a good time to quit. BUT, I have been stuck in an hotel room in India, that keeps serving me mystery soup, with the prospect of getting into a flat seeming like a tiny flicker of light at the end of a very long tunnel…so just keep that ‘quitting smoking’ thing to yourself for now…and Lord help Paul when I do run out.

After a loud boom yesterday morning the power went off periodically all day and into the night. I laughed when it went dark in the restaurant and Paul was the only who got it when I flicked my lighter and said “Free Bird”. I kept my sense of humor when I had to feel my way out of the restroom. Not such a good time was being caught in a dark, stopped elevator for about a minute….twice.

Question: “How many Indians does it take to make a bed?”

Answer: “Two.”

If you’re waiting for the punch line, there isn’t one. I just watched two boys from housekeeping make the bed…and it took them ten minutes. Of course I could tell you that I was in the room a few days ago and only one made up the bed…but it took him twenty minutes.

Yet Another Update...

2010-10-21T13:32:00.000+05:30

After receiving the rent and deposit amounts the other night, both Paul and I constructed our own emails in reply. It was late, about 11:00 p.m., and thought it would be better to sleep on it before sending a response. The next day instead of sending either one, or even combining them into one cohesive email, Paul decided not to counter at all. The owner’s terms were ridiculous in our eyes; from what he claimed he paid for the unit to his estimate for the upgrades we were asking for.

Apparently the owner had slept on it too, and when he didn’t get a reply from us he revisited his proposal. He came down over 20% to 85,000 Rupees, which is what he was charging the last tenant. He also agreed to improvements not to exceed 1.5 Lakh and a security deposit of six months rent. Now for those of you opening another tab to do the conversion, it amounts to $1,920.00 USD for rent and $3,400.00 USD in upgrades.

We’re not exactly home free yet. Paul and the accountant at his office still need to review the lease. I hope everything works out; I am really tired of living out of an hotel room…or should I say in one. We’ve discussed moving to another hotel that is closer to the mall (yes, there is a real mall here), but it is currently at capacity. It would be nice to be able to walk to the mall, or anywhere for that matter, and start picking up the bedding, towels and other items we’re going to need. Another plus would be a choice of restaurants and not being stuck with one…and one that serves mystery soup.

On another note, I’m thinking about purchasing Rosetta Stone for Hindi when I’m back in the states in about a month. I’ve read some good reviews and have been chatting with someone on FaceBook that got it for Hindi and says it’s working for her. I’m just wondering if anyone else has tried it and what their opinion is.

That’s it for now, it’s time for lunch. I’m thinking about skipping the soup and experimenting with pasta today.