Thursday, June 19, 2008

Spare-Gas

My brother and I nicknamed foods as kids; basically foods we thought were ‘yucky’. Brussels sprouts were called booger balls and my mother’s dumplings (forgive me mom) were rubber dumplings. We occasionally re-named foods we liked just to be silly. Sauerkraut was called sewer-kraut, meatloaf was meat-log and asparagus was spare-gas.

Why am I writing about this, you wonder. Well, it’s because we had ‘spare-gas’ with dinner last night. And if you’ve ever eaten asparagus you know what happens afterward. Apparently, ‘spare-gas’ isn’t just a silly name my brother and I called this vegetable as children. It is a word that describes what occurs after a person consumes some of these delicious perennial plants and then urinates. Some bizarre smelling ‘spare-gas’ is emitted from your body through your urethra. Think of it as a ‘urethral fart’.

A few months ago, some of us girls went away for a ‘Girls’ Weekend” at my BFF’s vacation house. One of the nights we made asparagus with dinner. You can imagine the smell coming out of the bathroom we were all sharing. We did notice, however, that the more beer you drank, the more often you peed and the quicker the ‘spare-gas’ went away. Only one of us was drinking mixed drinks instead of beer. By not taking in as much liquid she used the facilities less often, thus sharing that smell until the next morning.

FYI
Now, to any of you that claim you have no idea what I am talking about and have never smelled anything after eating asparagus: A) Everyone who eats asparagus will produce these odorous compounds, but B) only 40% have the autosomal (look it up) genes required to smell them.

TMI
I just used the restroom here at work and had to spray that stinky air freshener to get rid of the ‘spare-gas’. How embarrassing, now everyone is going to think I made No. 2.

6 comments:

Hilly said...

*snort*

Oh my goodness...followed you from Brit's place and I am in love already. With your blog, not you...cause that would be creepy ;)

Kyra said...

LOL my DH doesn't smell it then, but I DO. Ugh.

cuz'n carol said...

Love me some "spare-gas"! I was just telling the boys the other night as we were eating it that they were all gonna have smelly pee. They didn't believe me.

Hilarious post cuz!

Michael C said...

I once made the mistake of coming out of the office bathroom once and telling everyone 'hey, that asparagus thing really does happen.' It had been a long time since I had eaten aspargus.

Selma said...

It is a weird thing about asparagus, isn't it? Hahahaha. You are really funny. Good one!

sexy said...
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