Friday, July 11, 2008

Ten Things About Me and My Body

I know someone I read daily is set to do this same list today, and I would throw in a link to her right now, except I'm technologically challenged. Heather, (Confessions of a Coal Miner's Granddaughter) per a past post of yours and an e-mail to you, I can't bother you until December 20th for help, though apparently I need it.

Anyhoo, I thought I would do the whole 100 Things, blah, blah. I started one about me and music, but then this one just seemed to fall into place. I'll post the music one on Monday.

So here goes...

1. I have Fred Flintstone feet. I’m all of 5’2” and I wear a size eight…and they’re wide.

2. My ears are uneven. One is about a ¼” lower than the other one.

3. My eyes were blue until I was about five or six, but then changed to green. It’s not the norm that they changed at that age, but then again I am not normal…but what is normal???

4. My eyes are not as good as they used to be. I need glasses to drive and watch TV, however I need to take them off to read. Usually people getting older need ‘cheaters’ to read, however, again, I am not normal.

5. My butt and thighs are under the impression that they must resemble a bowl of cottage cheese. Please tell them this is not okay.

6. I dye my hair blond. It used to be blond and then got darker. I have no idea what my natural color is now. Oh wait, it’s blond!

7. I have breast implants. Yes, my friends, pregnancy and gravity have taken their toll and I decided to do something about it. Sssshh, don’t tell anyone.

8. I have a ‘tipped’ uterus, or so my OB-GYN says.

9. My uterus is not only ‘tipped’, it’s decided to no longer be equipped. I am pre-menopausal.

10. I have small lips. I even bought that lip plumper stuff at $50.00 a crack…didn’t help. No, I have small lips, or so my OB-GYN says.


Unknown said...

If you need help learning that linky stuff, just let me know. I do computers for a living, so I am familiar. With the computer stuff.

Anonymous said...

lol...that's pretty brave. i am too self conscious to ever be able to post 10 things about myself like that! but its good to know so many of us women experience similar things in life!

Megan said...

I love your 10 things, very brave! It totally gave me a chuckle. The funny thing is, I am sure no one but you notices any of those things (except maybe the great boob job!) haha.. I hope you have a great weekend!

Anonymous said...


Expat No. 3699 said...

I guess I should get off my 'proverbial' cottage cheese ass and learn how to do this stuff. I appreciate your offer for help and I will definitley take you up on it if I can't figure it out.

The Pink Potpourri:
It's the truth...and the truth will set you free...I think?

Well, my OB/GYN certainly noticed.

You have to be nice to me...I'm married to your son!
P.S. Love you too!

Anonymous said...

Haha, OMG...that thing about your OB/GYN completely cracked me up. And what's with my ass and thighs trying to copycat yours? The nerve of them!

Expat No. 3699 said...

I have no idea what is up with asses and thighs nowadays. They have this strange addiction to cottage cheese. I guess it's better on my ass and thighs rather than my OB/GYN bringing it to my attention...ooops!

sybil law said...

Those damn asses and thighs - they are attacking womankind!!!!
Your list was awesome. :)

sybil law said...

Oh yeah- I have a tipped uterus, too!
Woohooo for tipped uteruses!

Anonymous said...

Along the lines of stuff that no one wants to know: I'm going to the dermatologist to get my many skin tags removed. They're gross and I got sick of waiting for them to fall off (and they don't, necessarily). So here goes my first crack at a cosmetic proceedure.

Does this constitute "oversharing"?

Expat No. 3699 said...

Sybil Law:
Yes, the asses and thighs are attacking with cottage cheese...and the damn waists with their muffin tops.

Richard Whackman:
Of course this is not oversharing, you're among friends. And skin tags, how do they remove those?

Anonymous said...

Lots of comments today! Nice job of keepin' it real! Oh, and by the way - your full of shit - you're gorgeous!

Expat No. 3699 said...

cuz'n carol:
Uhm, no I'm not but what are you? Oh, wait, gorgeous! I guess we do share some of the same genes so I'll just say, "Thank you."

Luv ya, and waiting for more posts from you, my uber talented photographer cuz.

Anonymous said...

Well thank you for passing down the Fred Flinstone feet and tipped uterus to me, but where did my crooked nostrils come from??!! The milk man!! LOL

Anonymous said...

It will likely be a topical anesthetic followed by a quick cut or burn. I'll find out all about it in a few weeks. I don't think it will be that memorable an experience, though, so I probably won't report back to you about it unless you're really dying to hear. I tried to do it myself by tying a hair around the base of one of them, but it kept falling off. The dermatologist asked me if I had any reason why I didn't want to come in and have them do it and I quickly saw the light and scheduled an appointment.

I swear I'm not that vain - they're just such nasty looking little things.

Expat No. 3699 said...

The milkman? No. Jabba The Hut perhaps...

Richard Whackman:
I was curious because my granddaughter was born with one above her ear.

Anonymous said...

Gotta love those tipped uteruses - I think I have one too. But who knows for sure. Whenever I'm at the OB/GYN I spend my time cracking jokes so I never really have to hear what's he saying. It's all very much 'lalalala, I'm not really here.' Ha ha.

bfflindasue said...

So many things I did not know about you, awsome to be so well informed. The cottage cheese thing is great, however I prefer to look at it like just a little hail damage. Ok a lot of hail damage, in my case. Wonder if my insurance will cover the damage.

P.S. what do ya call that growth time between waxing..drum roll please. HOBO crutch.

Expat No. 3699 said...

Hail damage you say. Never thought about it that way, uhm, but yeah. I think I'll call Allstate.

Nej said...

Hail damage? Never thought of it that way...but that's great!!