Thursday, July 3, 2008

Road Ettiquette...

I think everyone, including me, has complained about other drivers. I sometimes wonder how some of these idiots were issued a license. But on second thought, neither the written exam nor the actual road test really addresses common sense, so here are some tidbits from me…

The Left Lane
The left hand lane is for 'passing', and 'passing' only. Once you get ahead of said car(s), move back into the right lane. I’m not entitled to just stay in that lane and neither are you…or you!

Looky Lou’s
If there’s an accident on the side of the road, keep driving. If you’re looking for gore, go rent “Faces of Death” at your local video store. Me, I’m not interested so keep up your speed so I can too.

Turn Signals
I am not psychic. I do not know if you are planning on turning or switching lanes, so help me out and use your signal. Hand signals work too. If you can’t manage that, I will give you a hand signal of my own.

Merging Traffic
If there is a sign a mile before a construction zone telling you that your lane is ending, please move over. If you think you’re going to just sashay all the way to the front when the rest of us have to wait, think again. I’m all about being courteous, but there is no way I’m letting you in front of me. Sorry.

Cell Phones
I could go off on a tangent here but I won’t (fodder for a future post). I don’t care who you are, when you are talking/dialing/texting on your cell phone, you are distracted from your driving. Period. I mean…Exclamation Point!

Speed Limit
There are speed limits for reasons. You obviously aren’t supposed to speed, but you also are not supposed to drive much slower than the limit. If you have to drive slower because, say you have six long landscaping timbers hanging out of the back of your SUV, then turn your hazard lights on and let traffic pass when you can.

There is no reason to drive so friggin’ close you can tell what perfume I am wearing. Back off! If, me, doing 46 in a 40 M.P.H. zone isn’t fast enough, then pass me. If you can’t, take a chill pill. Driving on my ass will only piss me off. I will then freak you out by flashing my headlights on and off so that you think I am hitting my brakes.

Litter Bugs
Please don’t throw your trash out the window. Use your ashtray for cigarettes and a garbage bag for the rest. Just because you don’t want to see it in your car does not mean I want to see it on the side of the road.

Driving Under the Influence
Don’t do it, you are not okay to operate a vehicle. If you are driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs your abilities are impaired, and the likelihood of an accident happening are greatly increased. Just because you don’t give a crap about your life, doesn’t mean I want you to chuck mine out the window.

Okay, I’m done.


Anonymous said...

Here's another one - if you think you've been cut off you don't need to speed in front of the car that you believe did it, slow down and start hurling insults and trying to start a fight.

That happened to a friend of mine the other day, and he isn't the type to back down. Fortunately for both of them, the other guy was.

Tales of dumbness on the road...

Megan said...

Came across your blog randomly while I was obviously not working (who actually works the day before a holiday though!?) I especially like the "turn signal" one :)

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

My father, a retired policeman, told me to never drive in the left-lane of a four-lane highway because if someone was driving the wrong way, they would be in that lane.

Being a teenager, I rolled my eyes and said, "Yeah, sure Dad. Whatever." Well, 12 years later, it happened to me when a Volvo driven by a confused elderly lady nearly smashed me to bits because she was driving the the wrong way on our side of the road.

Ish. Thanks for the rants, hon!

Anonymous said...

Love a good road rant. You should see some of the Sydney drivers. 'Maniac' is putting it mildly. Sheesh!

bfflindasue said...

I'm guilty, guilty, guilty,of using my cell phone while driving. I will make a huge effort not to do this anymore. It realy is not the smartest thing to do. A thousand pardons Linda I'm sure I made you you a wee bit uncomfortable. Sorry.

sexy said...
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