Monday, July 21, 2008

Taking a Shower...

Taking a shower…I think anyone reading this can relate. Unless you’re one of those bath people, which I just don’t get. Why would you want to lie in a tub of sullied water?

Anyhoo, this post is about what goes on in the shower…and I am not referring to self gratification. No sir, we’ll have none of that here…at least not from me.

Have you ever just wanted to stand in a hot shower? Stand there with the water beading down your back and just relax; let the worries, stress, and tension of the day wash down the drain. Just stand there with no concept of time until the hot water begins to diminish. You’re responsive to the decreasing temperature; reaching over to adjust the handle, forcing it to last a little longer. Have you ever done that, knowing your significant other intended to take a shower right after you…and you just don’t care and drain the hot water tank anyway?

Do you sing in the shower? Have you ever had a song in your heart that just needs to be heard, if only by you? You don’t care who hears you, and even if you do, you just don’t give a dang. A shower can be so invigorating and singing just adds to that sensation. Plus, the acoustics are so much better.

Have you ever used the last of the shampoo and either been too lazy or in too much of a hurry to replace it? You don’t give a hoot who discovers the bottle is empty until it’s too late. Have you ever been on the opposite end of that scenario and been the one stuck, wet through, with the option of either going without or opting to run, dripping, to retrieve the new bottle?

Oh, and do you blow your nose in the shower? I personally don’t, but have heard that this is the best time to clear your sinuses, especially with a cold. Have you ever been the one to clean the uh, ‘residue’, that can be left behind on the shower curtain or door?

Have you ever taken a shower and some careless individual decides to flush the toilet? Not a big thing, unless that flush changes the water temperature dramatically; i.e. You feel like a lobster taking your last swim. You cower at the farthest reaching point of said water, yelling, “What the fuck?” Have you ever retaliated with a ‘pay back’ flush?

Now, the big question; the $64,000.00 question. Have you ever peed in the shower? Come on, I see a few hands up. And yes, I see you, in the back row. Wait…wait…my hand is rising. I admit it. Hey, like George Costanza said…it all ends up in the same place.


Badass Geek said...

I shower as quickly as possible. I was kinda forced to, growing up in a house with two sisters.

If I'm in the shower longer than seven minutes, there's a problem.

And peeing in the shower? Only when I can't hold it. Farting in the shower is way, way worse.

Unknown said...

I love long, hot showers. And yes, peeing in the shower has been known to happen. However, why no self gratification? You don't? Or won't admit to it, here? I, on the other hand, admit to nothing.

Whitney said...

I love me a good shower. I feel so refreshed afterwards...

I do love a good bath though. :)

Eva said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Eva said...

[Sorry, that last comment had a typo and I am OCD] I love long hot showers, and since I lived alone for a long time, it was a common indulgence. And if I used up the last of the shampoo, it was my own damn problem. And yes, I blow my nose in the shower and only pee when I can't hold it.

Self gratification? That's what baths are for. ;)

Megan said...

I am a bath person. Always have been. I am paranoid that someone could enter the bathroom when I was in the shower and kill me without me knowing (because the curtain was closed) Although, even if I was in the bath and someone came in--I guess I still couldn't do much about it. :) However, since January I have had to face my fear of taking a shower since where i'm living doesn't have a nice bathtub :(

CK said...

What happens in the shower stays in the shower....

Meg said...

I have to do rush showers because my little man is very impatient. I would love to take a long hot shower.

Expat No. 3699 said...

badass geek:
Since you no longer have your sisters at the door, don't do just take a long shower because you can?

You did just admit that you've peed in the shower. Hehe.

Yes, long showers are nice.

Blowing your nose in the shower? Do you at least make sure it gets washed down the drain?

So I take it you don't like the movie Psycho?

Isn't that Vegas?

Yes, you gotta get in & out with little ones around.

Anonymous said...

I love modern technology - I have dueling hot water tanks, so as one is filling the other is draining, and I NEVER run out of hot water, which is a good thing cuz there's 6 of us in my crazy house! And flush the toilet - HA! Got that one figured out too, with some kind of thingy on the shower that keeps the temp steady at all times. Its a beautiful thing.

And that's all I'm gonna say about my showers, thank-you-very-much.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Standing - Yes. There are mornings that I just want to drain that hot water tank. But I don't. I'm lame.

Sing - Oh, no. That would be scary. No singing in my shower.

Shampoo usage - I'm too anal not to replace used toiletries. I usually keep spares right next to the shower on the counter.

Nose blowing - Yep. Especially in the winter.

Toilet - Here, we yell "Showers!" before a toilet flush!

Shower pee - Yes. Yes I do. I admit it! :)

Anonymous said...

You're asking way to many questions here, 3699. I'll just answer the no's: I've never inflicted a revenge flush and I've never wiped my hand on the curtain. I tend to forget when I run out of shampoo.

I like baths, but I'd like to have a swimming pool because then you can do laps and get some excercize. I rarely take a bath because I don't have the time. It seems like a wintertime thing - you know, the hot water and all.

You've been doing quite a bit of meditating on this subject. On the other hand, a shower is sometimes the high point of my day. It's about the only time you can "legitimately" take off all your clothes. Call me crazy, but in the heat of the summer I don't always have the impuse the wear them. I also don't have an impulse to be arrested or make a spectacle out of myself, either. So there remains the shower...

Expat No. 3699 said...

cuz'n carol:
I want dueling hot water tanks.

Yeah, even though I asked, no singing for me. I sound bad enough without it reverberating off the walls!

Richard Whackman:
I can think of other times you can "legitimately" take off all your clothes. How 'bout skinny dipping? You could incorporate that with your swim in a pool.

Michael C said...

I take showers so hot that it steams half the upstairs, to the point my skin is dark red.

Expat No. 3699 said...

Thus your kinship with lobster?

Anonymous said...

I hog all of the hot water and yes I am a nose blower.

No I have not pee-ed in the shower and I would never sing in the shower because Id hate to crack the mirrors in my bathroom.

And, since I have OCD I cant let the shampoo bottle be less than 1/2 way full before buying a 'back up' shampoo bottle. Yes. I am crazy like that.

This concludes my TMI comment reply.

Anonymous said...

I shower quickly because we have been in a state of drought for over five years and are under water restrictions and we have three minute timers on the shower. Sometimes it's a real drag, especially when the shampoo runs out and you have to get out of the shower to get another bottle, so that by the time you get back in you only have a minute to go. Cold showers are no fun but peeing in them does warm them up.