Thursday, July 24, 2008

The Vego-O-Matic....

Gallagher, the comedian, introduced the Sledge-O-Matic in the 1980’s. This was fun for all watching. He smashed, mainly watermelons, but other things like cottage cheese, toothpaste and pound cake.

On the other hand, at the tender age of five, my father introduced me to the Vego-O-Matic. He came home with what he thought was the best new gadget around. He figured it was something that the whole family could enjoy. This contraption was one of those juice machines that you could insert any type of fruit or vegetable into the opening at the top and low and behold it would turn said ‘object’ into juice. This juice was something that brought him great pride since it was homemade, nutritious and delicious.

Now this would have been all fine and dandy with me had ‘said object’ been an apple, pear or banana…or any fruit. But ‘noooo’, my father, I think, belonged to the anti-fruit coalition. He would only insert vegetables into said opening. And by any vegetable, I mean anything on hand.

Not only was this a problem because vegetables do not appeal to a five year old, but the concoctions he would create were also my snack, desert, or treat, if you will. While other children my age were indulging on cake, ice cream or popcorn after dinner, I got a yucky, though nutritious, juice drink. Imagine the combination of broccoli and lima beans, spinach and wheat germ, or beets and uh, beets. What was the incentive to drink this stuff? It’s not like there was a rainbow at the end, i.e. a cookie?

So to this day I cannot bring myself to drink V-8 or even tomato juice. I love tomato soup, and lord knows there have been times where a Bloody Mary would have come in handy but I could never bring myself to have one. I just can’t do it.

14 comments:

Pleasant Drive said...

Oh my gosh! When my husband and I were registering for wedding presents, the number one item on his list was the Lack LaLane (sp?) Juicer. Anyway, I now have this $100 contraption that has a kajillion pieces and takes approximately 20 minutes to correctly assemble, and when assembled it makes the most interesting of potions. ICK! So, let me tell you, I think this will be item number one in my next garage sale.

LceeL said...

How horrible. My wife, the lovely SWMBO, hates bananas - because that's what snacks were when she was a kid. Just bananas.

SWMBO = She Who Must Be Obeyed

CK said...

I donated my juicer to the Salvation Army. Got hooked on fresh carrot juice at a spa. The juicer made great carrot juice... and a big mess. I gave it up when my local stores finally started carrying carrot juice by the half-gallon. Less grit... less mess... and, believe it or not, less expensive (I wait for sales, natch).

Megan said...

Oh dads...They're funny! How about fruit smoothies, do you like them? Or is the concept of turning a solid into a liquid ruined for you forever? BTW, I think you should give into a Bloody Mary :0)

Glamorous Life of a House Wife said...

Ew! I hate any kind of squeezed vegetable. It reminds me of something they would use on Double Dare and it makes me want to throw up.

cuz'n carol said...

I saw Gallagher live. HA-LARIOUS! He was with Tim Allen - even more HA-LARIOUS!

I had no idea you were subjected to such cruelty at the tender age of 5. If I had, I would have come right over and saved you. I'm sorry.............

Employee No. 3699 said...

Pleasant Drive:
Good luck trying to sell it. I couldn’t even unload my bread maker at a garage sale a few months ago.

Lceel:
It was horrible then, fortunately it’s just funny now.

CK:
Carrot juice would have been easier to get down, especially if he had put some fruit in it. Like V-8 Splash.

Megan:
Solids into liquids is fine. Check out tomorrow’s drink recipe to see…

Glamorous Life of a House Wife:
Yeah, the gag factor would come into play.

cuz’n carol:
Oh no! He would have made you try it too!

Megan said...

Oh and it made me smile that my post today made you check your armpits to make sure they're tidy :) hahaha

meleah rebeccah said...

I would be just as traumatized if thats how I was to eat my veggies as a child.

I laughed because I havent thought about wheat germ, since I was 5.

My 'treat' was Yogurt & wheat germ.
I missed out on all the cake and ice cream goodness too!

I guess thats why I had no trouble inhaling an etire pint of coffee ice cream in one sitting this evening.

Snooty Primadona said...

He must have been a Jack Lalane fan, lol. Very funny!

Meg said...

Ew. I'm not a veggie drinker either. Especially not tomato juice!

Selma said...

My mum went through a health kick when I was 10. Her favourite juice was zucchini and celery juice. I've got to say there is only one way to describe it -DISGUSTING! I still shudder to this day when I see zucchini or celery in the supermarket. I am so traumatised I can't own a juicer. LOL.

Geraldine said...

Ah, the veg-o-matic, I remember it well. Also the 'patty-stacker' do you recall that one? K-tel made a fortune selling these crappy 'appliances' that everyone had to have at the time. Im sure your dad meant well but it must have been hard to stomach all these concoctions.

Badass Geek said...

Having a cookie at the end of anything unplesant would be awesome.