Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Random Tuesday...


Forty seven years ago today my mother had the displeasure of squeezing my then bobble sized head through her vajayjay via two sets of forceps happily welcomed her first born into the world. I was 18” long and weighed 8 lbs. 4 oz. Since then I’ve grown 44 inches and gained…never mind.

My favorite color is red.
I prefer vanilla to chocolate.
I could eat pizza every day.

I polled some people a few days ago and asked them to describe me in one word…

My friend C said ‘Conversationalist’. (I think it was just a nice way of saying that I’m a phone-aholic.)

My BFF said ‘Loyal’. (But of course she would…BFF’s know how to keep secrets.)

My mom said, ‘Dependable’ and my dad said, ‘Great’. (They have to be nice, they’re my parents…and I’ll choose their retirement home.)

My brother said ‘Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious’. (I’ll take it because he could have used hyphens and said: ‘brat-who-promised-to-play-GI-Joes-with-me-after-I-played-Barbies-with-her-but-just-used-the-GI-Joes-so-she’d-have-more-dates-for-her-Barbie-dolls-big-sister.)

My son said ‘Persistent’. (That’s his way of politely telling me I’m still a nagging mother.)

His girlfriend said I was ‘Spunky’. I like her…(unless she really meant ‘spunky for my age’…if that’s the case the jury is still out.)

My fraughter told me I was ‘Anal’ and then changed it to “Witty’, but wasn’t happy with either word so she changed it to ‘Special’. Even though I told her the first or second word was fine she insisted that she wanted to change it to ’Special’, as in this type of special. (Yes, she is the rotten fruit of my loins.)

My son-in-law told me I was ‘Fantabulous’. (In case I haven’t mentioned, he is my favorite son-in-law.)

My husband was out of town when I conducted this little survey so I called him with the request to describe me in one word. The reception was bad so I told him he could think about it and get back to me later; especially so he could try to consolidate words like, Sexy, Luscious, Fantastic, Creative, Thoughtful, Passionate, Amazing, and Beautiful; and that it would be okay if he needed to use hyphens.

Me: “I’ll talk to you tomorrow when the reception is better. Let me know then.”
Him: “No, I got it. You need me to describe you in one word.”
Me: “Well, think about it. Give it a little thought.”
Him: “It’s demanding.”
Me: “What? I don’t think asking you to describe me in one word is demanding.”Him: “No, that’s how I would describe you in one word.”
Me: (Hearing him quite clearly) “You’re breaking up…I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

Forward to the next day:

Me: “So back to that one word…did you say demanding?”
Him: “I did, but now that I’ve had time to think about it I want to change it.”
Me: (Realizing he was joking the day before) “To what?”
Him: “Bossy.”
Me: (Crickets chirping)
Him: “Are you still there?
Me: (more chirping)
Him: “You know I love you, right?”
Me: “Yeah, I love you too…So, when you get home you’ll get the oil changed on my car, take the dogs to the vet, and steam clean the carpet?”
Him: “Of course, because you’re Sexy-Luscious-Fantastic-Creative-Thoughtful-Passionate-Amazing-Beautiful…and because I don’t want to sleep on the sofa.”

How would someone describe you in one word?


Badass Geek said...

I think of you as Fearless.

Because you posted about that time you accidentally tried anal.

Badass Geek said...

Oh, and Happy Birthday!

Wonderful World of Weiners said...


Hallie :)

CK said...

Happy Birthday. Signed, Your Sister

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...


And... I would describe you as kick-ass! :)

Aunt Juicebox said...

(Are you sure that was 'accidental' anal, Badass?)

Happy birthday!

Lola said...

Someone just described me as fierce. I like it!

Happy birthday, Bossy Girl ;)

MIL said...

Happy Birthday To One WONDERFUL
Terrific Adorable Caring
Beautiful Sweet Talented
Daughter-In-Law Love You MIL

Cousin Carol said...

Happy Birthday Cuz!!

I would agree with whoever said spunky. Oh, and adventurous. Wait, that's two words.

Oh, and built just like me, except you got the boobs. So - bitch. LOL!!

Marie C said...

Hey you, I had a CRAZY day yesterday, didn't even get to go online...so please accept my HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY wish!!!!! Hope you had a great day.......love ya!

Michele said...

Happy Happy Birthday! I wish I knew you, so I could pick one work to describe you! But hope you had a great day anyway!


Jenny Grace said...

Happy birthday :)

I think of you as awesome.

meleah rebeccah said...

OH!! Happy Birthday to you!!!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday. I think you are stupendous! Hope you had a great day.

Unknown said...

Damn. I missed your Birthday. I am sorry. Happy Belated Birthday, Linda.


Skeeter said...

Happy Brithday, L.! Mine is just around the corner, another week and I will be 47 also :-) Hang in there kiddo. You're doing great!

Best wishes,


Unknown said...

I think you're 'Great'.

Unknown said...

It's a bit belated...but Happy Birthday to a fellow Taurean. I'd describe YOU as fabulous.
I've been described often as 'stubborn' and 'loyal'
PS LOVE the new layout!