Tuesday, April 7, 2009

The Tax Man...

So it’s Election Day in my neck of the woods and there has been a whole lot of hoopla going on with the race for assessor. The incumbent seems…well…as crooked as Quasimodo’s back. And if you’re not aware, I live in Illinois, the state with the great reputation for ‘honest’ politicians.

Here are a few of the issues with the race for property assessor. The incumbent…

…hired a private investigator to harass his opponent’s petition signers, and an attorney to knock said opponent off the ballot on a technicality.

…had his political allies offer his opponent a job if he withdrew from the race.

…was caught stealing newspapers, that had an article about him, from a gas station.

…sent a letter to residents in violation of state election laws and singled out certain homeowners by name, referring to them as ‘troublemakers’…and is subsequently being sued for 15 million dollars for slander and racism.

…has reportedly said to a senior citizen, “If you can’t afford to live here, move.”

Not only is the incumbent currently under investigation by the county’s States Attorney and the FBI, his party does not endorse him, nor have they put his name on any of their campaign literature.

His opponent, who I know personally, is a write-in on the ballot. Now most write-ins wouldn’t stand a chance in hell of winning an election, but the media coverage and, more so, the bad publicity the incumbent has given himself have helped spread the word. I truly hope we win, not just because it would be a kick in the face for the incumbent to lose to a write-in, but because we’re entitled to fair and equitable property tax assessments.

Keep your fingers crossed that my neighbors and neighboring subdivisions are paying attention and vote…because by ‘paying’ attention they could be ‘paying’ less.

Good luck to you, Joe Kral and good luck to me and everyone else in this township.

Taxman by Stevie Ray Vaughn

Let me tell you how it will be
There’s one for you, nineteen for me
‘Cause I’m the taxman, yeah, I’m the taxman

Should five per cent appear too small
Be thankful I don’t take it all
‘Cause I’m the taxman, yeah I’m the taxman

If you drive a car, I’ll tax the street
If you try to sit, I’ll tax your seat
If you get too cold I’ll tax the heat
If you take a walk, I’ll tax your feet

Don’t ask me what I want it for
If you don’t want to pay some more
‘Cause I’m the taxman, yeah, I’m the taxman

Now my advice for those who die
Declare the pennies on your eyes
‘Cause I’m the taxman, yeah, I’m the taxman
And you’re working for no one but me.


Badass Geek said...

Gotta love politicians.

Kat said...

Even for a politician he sounds crooked!

Unknown said...

You can't make that stuff up!
in our small town election, the local dickhead landlord got uprooted by a write-in candidate...so hopefully it will work for you!

Unknown said...

Hey. That's a typical Illinois 'guy'. Y'know? And he'll getcha new garbage cans if he's elected.

Lola said...

Oh, lord, it's the same everywhere. We've got a woman politician caught on video shoving thousands of dollars in her bra after a shakedown of a local business. You think it's only in the movies. As if. I hope your guy wins!!

Captain Dumbass said...

The newest mayor of Vancouver was caught trying to ride... we'll call it a subway, for free and then bitched and whined and tried to get out of paying the fine. He still got elected. Not quite as exciting. Not sure why I told that story...

Momisodes said...

Wow. It was election day this past weekend for us here. Politicians seem to share similar qualities where ever they are.

Hope your write-in wins!

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a real upstanding guy. OMFG!

CK said...

I just came across a nasty post, the gist of which is that there are two Joe Krals... so which one ran for assessor? The one I met last summer (who I thought I e-mailed this morning!)... or the other (who will wonder "who is this crazy lady writing to me about a burned casino?").

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

A good friend of mine lives in Evanston and I asked her what she thought of Blago (can't actually spell his last name - forgive me) and her response was if you don't think that type of thing doesn't happen all the time, then you're kidding yourself. And that comment saddened me, that these crooked politicians get away with this because it's now the norm. Ugh. I hope your butthead assessor loses!