Last Friday when you were directed to my guest post over at Moonspun’s, it wasn’t me who directed you there, but my husband. That’s because I was in the hospital (I’m fine, thanks for caring).
Thursday morning on my way to work I had some sharp chest pains. I’d had these before and pretty much chalked it up to muscle spasms, so I wasn’t really worried. The thing that had me freaked out was that my entire left arm and shoulder felt numb and tingly. I got to work and it wasn’t going away so I told my two co-workers that were there that I was going to go to the emergency room. You’d think that upon hearing the terms ‘chest pain’ and ‘numbness’ one of them would have offered to drive me. Nah. Just wait until their birthdays roll around and I don’t pass a card around for everyone to sign or bring in cupcakes.
So I drove myself to the ER and within five minutes of getting there I was getting an EKG. They then got me settled, checked my vitals and before I knew it a portable x-ray machine was wheeled in for pictures of my chest (no, not like this one). They then gave me a nitro tablet to dissolve under my tongue, which did alleviate the numbness in my arm. It wasn’t until after they had made sure I wasn’t dying that a woman came in with a cart, complete with computer and printer/copier, to register me. I think it’s fantabulous that they cared about my well being before caring about whether I had insurance or if I could pay.
It ended up that I was admitted for observation and further testing. I was brought up to the cardiac unit where they took my vitals again and actually got my weight (which I will not disclose) from the bed. Yes, from the bed. There is a scale built into the bed, people! Though I did need to leave my room for a nuclear stress test and a cerebral spinal x-ray, every other test was done in the comfort (ahem, cough) of said bed.
I was extremely impressed with how efficiently everything was done and with all the advancements made since my last hospitalization, about 18 years ago. The one thing, however, that I was surprised to see was their choice of (gentlemen, earmuffs please) sanitary napkins. Yes it was that time of month, and as I was unprepared I needed to use what they gave me. Let me tell you, other than the fact that they had an adhesive strip on the back; they were the same as when I had my son almost thirty years ago. Where were the technical advancements? They were not ‘contoured’, they had no ‘wings’ and there was no ‘leakproof lining’. And. AND. They were a foot long. A foot long is too big (TWSS)!
I’m back home now and I await, with fear, the bills that are sure to follow. I can’t imagine how much all the tests are going to cost. I’m sure I’ll be charged $10.00 for every Tylenol they gave me, and probably five dollars for every foot long pad I used. Five dollar foot longs. Yeah, five dollar foot longs!
If you don’t have that song stuck in your head now, well here you go…you can thank me later.