Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Separate Vacations...

As I’ve mentioned before Paul travels about 50% of the time for work. I’m used to it after more than a decade; but I’m going to admit now that I’m so used to it that when he’s home for a few weeks in a row I start to look forward to having time to myself. Now before anyone starts to assume I’m a bad person for thinking this way please know that I do miss him when he’s gone. It’s just that I’ve gotten so used to being on my own that when he’s home for an extended period I tend to fall out of my routine…especially with blogging. His last stretch lasted five weeks and I didn’t post for over three of those and then I got so far behind on reading that I had to mark several hundred posts as read; most which I perused first but didn’t comment on and some I just didn’t have time to read. I still have about 75 unread posts hanging out there until I have time to read every word. You three people should know who you are because I normally do comment but I just won’t until I’ve caught up. Oh well.

Now he’s back in travel mode. He was gone last week, and other than the weekends, he will remain so for the next four weeks. I guess it balances out. The difference this week is that he is currently in Vermont, not for work, but on vacation. He went with a friend/business associate to take pictures of the fall foliage.

Some people may think this strange. How can a couple spend so much time apart and then not be together on vacation? It’s simple. We love each other, trust one another and know that we don’t have everything in common. As much as I want to learn how to take better pictures, I don’t want to hold him back; and honestly, at this point, I don’t want to spend a week of vacation time doing it. That being said, he gets why I blog but he really isn’t all that interested in it. He was okay with me spending three nights away for BlogHer and he’s totally fine with me being gone a couple of nights this month for Adam’s party. He’s stayed out of town longer than necessary to pursue his photography in the past and I’ve gone on many a Girls’ Weekends.

It’s all good.

I think we have a great relationship in that we can let each other do our own thing. It’s very different from what I had with my ex. I’m glad that my daughter was influenced by Paul and I, and not her father. She and her husband do things as a family with their children, they do things as a couple and they do things on their own. I’m very proud of and happy for her.

As I said, I’m going to Adam’s Halloween Party in a few weeks. I’m hoping my daughter can come too; we’re just waiting to see when Paul gets his next free ticket in a week if she can get on the same flights. I’ve got her all hyped up and she really wants to go…and we have coordinating costumes. Coordinated with each other and this year’s theme!

If she goes maybe, just maybe, we’ll not only be mother/daughter and best friends, but fellow bloggers.

After reading my posts she’s started reading others. This party could be the turning point. C’mon I say, like mother like daughter…I mean fraughter.

16 comments:

Cindy said...

my husband is on the road 4-5 days a week. I miss him a lot but, do have my own life going. Always happy when he's home but, do continue with that life even when he's here as it's unpredictable when he'll be here. I have been better disciplined about when he comes back in town to make special meals and have everything in order at the fort. Then he can just relax and regroup.

LceeL said...

Oh man! Have fun at Adam's party. I'm jealous - I can't go. But hey - you guys have a ball. Pictures. Bring back pictures!!!

Lola said...

I don't think it's strange at all. I go away all the time without my husband. Of course, it's mostly because he won't leave his business in the hands of his employees.

He's been on two vacations where he left his business, one in 1995 for our wedding in Bermuda, and last November when we took the boy to Universal for four days. No, he's not a control freak!

The Halloween party sounds like a blast!!

Moonspun said...

Hey, if it works for you...then that's good with me.
Tell him to wave if he comes by my way!

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

If it ain't broke, don't fix it. SOunds like y'all know what works for you. Kudos!

You should have a blast at Adams!!

Hallie

Headless Mom said...

My dad was a pilot and even as a kid I understood the value of time apart. Mom had to do a lot of stuff on her own because he was just not there. It was an actual transition for me when we got married and my husband had a normal job where he works days and is home nights.

Jealous of your impending trip to the Halloween bash. Not so much for the Halloween part, but because you get to see blogging friends. Yay!

Cat said...

I think that meeting in the middle is a perfect way to be a couple... I mean - you both go do your own thing, then come together. My husband and I are doing this and our life is so much healtheir now our love is so much stronger... because of this.

Wine and Words said...

My husband travels also, and I relish the alone time when I don't have to please anyone or follow an agenda that is not my own. I hear ya!

kanishk said...

Always happy when he's home but, do continue with that life even when he's here as it's unpredictable when he'll be here. I have been better disciplined about when he comes back in town to make special meals and have everything in order at the fort. Then he can just relax and regroup.
How to make a website

Aunt Juicebox said...

My husband and I go through phases where we want to spend every second together, and then times when we pass like ships in the night. It seem to work for us, so why worry about it. Being together for ten years, you kind of learn to go with whatever the flow is at the time.

Evansmom said...

I think there are a lot of couples like that. I can remember being home with my son when he was a toddler because my husband was off for a weekend with his friends. Someone I mentioned it to was horrified. I thought that was funny. It didn't bother me in the least. I do my things without him and we also do activities together. I think everyone finds what works for them.

Alice said...

Vacations with the kids, and the rare but wonderful romantic getaway with the hubby, are all terrific. But I really look forward to the one week a year when 3 girlfriends and I share the cost of renting a timeshare for a perfectly fabulous time at a great resort. We use http://www.redweek.com for incredibly inexpensive (no guilt!) timeshare rentals in top-notch resorts.

Alice said...

Vacations with the kids, and the rare but wonderful romantic getaway with the hubby, are all terrific. But I really look forward to the one week a year when 3 girlfriends and I share the cost of renting a timeshare for a perfectly fabulous time at a great resort. We use http://www.redweek.com for incredibly inexpensive (no guilt!) timeshare rentals in top-notch resorts.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

I am so friggin' excited that you're coming! I can't wait for you to meet Tyler! I'm excited about meeting your fraughter, I just wish you could put Lou in your suitcase. Seriously. I'm crushed.

Sheila said...

I'm hoping your "fraughter" gets to come too...otherwise, we'll just tease her with pictures all weekend!

We need to talk soon lady!

Nej said...

My hubby works 24 hour days, every other day. And, every so often, he gets a full week off to recoup.

I love that he's home that week, but by the end of the week, I'm secretly thinking to myself "WHEN do you go back??"

I completely and 100% understand getting into your own schedule, and having him come home and knock you out of it. :-) :-)