Monday, September 29, 2008

It's Not Holey Sunday Anymore...

Alright, I have a confession. Some of you will concur and admit you feel the same. Others will not understand at all and wonder what is wrong with me. Are you ready? I hate to shop for clothes. No, I actually despise shopping for clothes and loathe having to go to the mall to do so. The problem is; I eventually need to replace everything. This is not a good thing, but I admit that I let it happen.

My clothes begin to stare back at me from the mirror with a look of dejection. They’re tired and worn out. They plead with me to let them retire with dignity at the local Good Will as opposed to being recycled into rags or worse yet, camping out on the curb on a Tuesday night and hauled away the next morning.

For the most part I am a kind person and will take pity and donate them. But there is something in me that can’t do it with my jeans. I just can’t let go. I wear them and wear them and wear them…out. Some will get to the point where there are holes starting at the back pockets and below the zipper. Others actually get holes in the knees, and yet I can’t let go. These pairs obviously become my Sunday jeans, well, because they’re holy holey. I guess I find it so hard to let them go because it was so damn hard to find them in the first place.

Yesterday I got off my ass and went to the mall in search of the ever elusive pair of perfect fitting jeans. My Better Half grudgingly eagerly tagged along. Not because he loves to carry my purse and bags. Not because he likes looking through rows and piles of jeans for my size. Not because he had nothing better to do. And most certainly not because he loves to answer the trick question, “Honey, does my ass look fat in these jeans?” He went because he knows I need encouragement, to keep on keepin’, to not give up until I find at least one pair…that and because he has the AmEx card.

We got to the mall early, my route marked out as to which stores I’ve had the best luck with in the past, and a pair of slip on shoes(easy on, easy off). Now let me set the stage for you. I’m 46 years old, 5’2” and 121 115 lbs. The Women’s Section is out, nothing fits and if it did, I sure as hell am not going to wear what does. I may be 46, but I’m only forty six! That leaves me the junior sizes. This can be difficult with the styles available, mainly these new ultra wide flared legs. I’m sorry, but if I were to wear a pair of jeans like these with my height, I’d resemble a tree stump.

After bypassing the tree stump garb, I find what I’m looking for; Gap Long and Lean, Classic and Straight Leg. Now My Better Half knows from experience to look for my size, grab several pairs and not make any suggestions. He knows to wait outside the dressing room in case I need help or the occasional, “Wow, those look great on you” comments. He finally understands (or claims to) that they do not make all jeans the same. Just because the tag says that two pairs of jeans are the same style, size and length, it is not true. It is a conspiracy. I do not claim to know what the strategy is; I just know this conspiracy exists. Also, The Gap has a deception of their own going on with their sizes. I understand this one though and I applaud it. They size everything smaller; I am a solid one size smaller at The Gap than I am at any other store. “Yes, Virginia, there is a…”

Shortening up a too long story, two and a half hours and 43.5 pairs later (the point five is for that pair I couldn’t get past my thighs), I walked out of the mall with three pairs of brand new jeans. Life is once again good…I can walk into work this morning without my co-workers reminding me it’s not casual Friday, and it sure as hell ain’t Holey Sunday.

16 comments:

Weeksie50 said...

Whoo Hoo! Yeah for the pefect pair of new jeans..and 3 perfect pairs at that...

Boo for having to try on 43.5 pairs.. Ugh.

What a sweet Hubby you have... to tag along and offer up encouregment..

My home - My life said...

I like shopping but I get in "moods" sometimes where I do not like it at all.

And when I am looking for a specific thing, I really hate it because of course I can never find that specific thing.

Overall though, I do like shopping, I just have those frustrating moments!

LceeL said...

Your husband deserves a halo/medal/oscar. Any or all of the above. How about wearing a pair of those new jeans over to one of the restaurants near I80?

Selma said...

I hate to shop too. I agree with you about jeans - what's up with all the different sizes that are supposed to be the same size?
Glad you found the holy trinity of jeans. Well done!

Glamorous Life of a House Wife said...

I have to be in the mood to clothes shop, or else, I get really irritated when I have to try stuff on. Congrats on your successful shopping trip!

Badass Geek said...

I've convinced my wife to go down to a smaller purse simply because her previous purse was gigantic and weighed about sixty-three pounds.

And with her love of shopping, I wasn't about to drag her cinder-block purse around the store for any longer than I had to.

Miss Anne said...

Yay for new jeans!

The HUNT is usually all part of the fun... that is until you get to pair # 23.5 and you have had about ENOUGH!

Regardless! Glad you found some... i HEART Gap jeans!

:) make today great!

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Kick ass, girl! I'm with you on the Gap jeans. I have two pairs myself. The other brand I adore is Lucky. They are so friggin' expensive, but they fit so well and feel so soft. I have to have at least one pair in my closet.

Megan said...

I am 5"0 and have the same problem. I normally am cheerful going into a store, but then hating myself for thinking I could find something I need. I love the .5--haha. I think it's great that your better half went shopping with you, even if it wasn't the highlight of his week! ;)

Lisa J said...

Yea you!! Congrats on making it a successful hunt in one day. and three cheers for you He-Man that shops by your side!!!

Richard Whackman said...

Hate shopping for clothes? You and me both. Just think of the truckload of money you've saved over the years.

RiverPoet said...

Me? I love shopping. LOVE IT. This is why my husband handles the money now.

But jeans are just really hard to shop for. You're right in that no two pairs are alike - particularly in the darker washes.

I have one pair of jeans now that has reached that incredibly soft, beaten up stage, and I love them. I'm trying desperately not to grow out of them, and as you know from my blog, I'm fighting with that. I refuse to give you my weight :-)

Peace - D

meleah rebeccah said...

"mainly these new ultra wide flared legs. I’m sorry, but if I were to wear a pair of jeans like these with my height, I’d resemble a tree stump."

HA. HA. HA!

I can relate at 5ft-2inches and 112 lbs.

I LOATHE clothes shopping as well. It takes FOREVER to find something that 'works'...but it is ever so satisfying when its OVER and you get to leave with THINGS YOU LIKE

Eva said...

Yesssss! Gap Long and Lean is the shizznit! Congrats on emerging from the gauntlet relatively unscathed.

Eva said...

I can't believe I just typed the word "shizznit". I am such a dork.

Rebeckah said...

Way to go! Finding a great pair of jeans is nothing short of miraculous! I know you are going to look rockin' hot!