Friday, October 3, 2008

A Recipe for Dissapointment...

Recipe for disappointment…



I’m sorry but this is a looong post. When you’re done reading you can agree, disagree or give it a big ole Super-Sized Meh. There’s lots of baggage linkage too. Hey, you’re getting it for free here; you’d have to pay extra at the airport. So here we go…


List of ingredients:

One 46 year old woman
A smidgeon of knowledge of the blogging community
A dash of naivety
One heaping cup of weary reviewer who describes the process as: “I get all revved up about writing a review, it changes my mindset for days as I write a scathing report - about nothing - other people’s photons."

Before I continue with my recipe you must read this. If you aren’t looking at the picture of me in my Kitchen Bitch apron, scroll down a bit to 10/02/08.

So we have the 46 year old woman, yeah that would be me.

The smidgeon of knowledge comes in with the fact that she had been following only one blog for about a year and a half, then discovered a couple of others, like this one and this one. She enjoyed reading them and the comments and decides this is something she’d like to be a part of, so she starts a blog

The naivety is then added. Six weeks later she comes across a site that reviews blogs. After reading a couple of their reviews she decides to ask them to take a look at hers:

Date: July 23, 2008
Email * lfabsits@yahoo.com
Name of Your Blog: * The Random Memorandum
Your Blog's URL: * http://therandommemorandum.blogspot.com/

A Brief Description of YourBlog: *
“A description of my blog? I think that's what I need from you. I’m not really sure how I would describe it. Being fairly new to this, I would appreciate an honest and unbiased opinion, in addition to any suggestions you have to make.”

Being new to this she thinks , “Great, someone will give me suggestions on what to do and what not to do, maybe tell me what makes a blog interesting. I have a generic template and I’m technologically challenged, maybe they can tell me what should I change and how?”

The last ingredient is the weary reviewer, who has decided to call it quits. She states in her own blog: “When I tried to quit several months ago, the site owner just sort of didn’t acknowledge my email and kept sending me blogs to review. Maybe she never got my email, who knows? This time I am done. I like the group, but it’s not good for me or my family life. Specifically, it’s not good for my Christian life…I haven’t posted here much recently, mainly because I feel it’s futile. Nothing written here really matters. It’s just a mind exercise. Life matters. Getting out and playing with the kids, cleaning the house, painting. Those things matter. The rest of this is just entertainment and frankly, I am feeling less than entertaining lately.”

I am not disappointed by the Super Meh I received, not by any means. I expected worse to be honest with you. I’m actually impressed with the rating as it’s not even on their Rating System, she had to come up with that one special for me.

The disappointment comes from:

First, the fact that she lumped me in with the Mommy Bloggers. I am not a Mommy Blogger (not that there’s a damn thing wrong with that. In fact my Reviewer seems to be one, see below*). I am a 46 year old grandmother with a husband that travels 50% of the time. If you’re going to put a label on me; how about Empty Nest Blogger? If my reviewer were a doctor there would be a malpractice lawsuit going on for misdiagnosis.

And second: because every other review I have read on this site actually reviews that specific blog. They don’t just lump them into a category and make a generalization. They’ll link to posts that show what a piece of shit you are. They will tell you that you can’t write, or that you’re boring or suck. They give you some feedback. She didn’t take the time to review ME, she had already given her notice…


* Queen Mutha, who reviewed my blog is a Mommy Blogger herself. I peeked around her last few posts and found out that recently she wants her attic to resemble a toy store and her dog, Sparky is sick, and a recipe for Ginormous, fluffy muffins packed with gazillions of blueberries! Woohoo…

Ask And Ye Shall Receive has the URL of www.iwillfuckingtearyouapart.blogspot.com. I’m disappointed that I didn’t get the I will fucking tear YOU apart review, but instead got the I will fucking tear mommy bloggers apart review.

Feel free to leave me your comments and/or hate mail.

48 comments:

Megan said...

Linda.. Is she supposed to be a bitch? Firstly, Mommy blogger? No. "Mamas Losin It" is a mommy blogger. (again, nothing wrong with that--I love her blog) I would recommend her actually reading your blog to know that you have wonderful grandchildren. "There’s nothing entertaining here." wtf? Has she not seen the fact that your husband "photoshopped" your ass into your picture, even though everyone really believes it is your real one. Has she not seen your amazing drink/food recipes or Would you Rather?
Arrgh. Stupid people. I should be a blog rater person..I would give you an A!!
I think I will see if she will rate my blog, but I probably wont get a good score after this comment :)

Megan said...

P.S. Do you think that even though that was her last rating she would rate me? haha..Perhaps someone else from that site!?! And yes I am sure that being a bitch cannot be good for your Christianity.

Megan said...

P.P.S. Feel free to delete my comments if you feel they are too mean :) Otherwise, it's almost Friday so have a great weekend!!!

Skeeter said...

Hi Linda,

Did your husband photoshop in the lasagna too? It's a fun image for sure, but you know, there's nothing like nice meat lasagna when it comes right down too it. This Saturday, I'm making Mrs. Skeeter a nice grilled lamb chop with bulghur mushroom pilaf and broccoli. She's going to treat me to pizza and beer on Sunday. Yeah, I know, beer makes everything better.

Best wishes on your blog reviews in the future,

Skeeter

Selma said...

Well, I had never heard of her until I read this post and really, a nasty, vitriolic person like that means nothing to me. So that's her blog in its entirety? Doing snarky, mean reviews of other blogs? Is it supposed to be a joke? Because she's not even remotely amusing. I do hate the sense of elitism that exists in some blogging circles and I will not read bloggers who participate in that. To me, it's all about the content and the blogger. I don't care about templates and all that crap. Thank God she's giving it up. Good riddance.

Badass Geek said...

I wouldn't believe a word that so-called "reviewer" said about your blog here.

She apparently has her head too far up her own ass to know any better.

Mental P Mama said...

Do you have the same 'new business opportunity' bubble over your head that i do?

Avitable said...

Sometimes those review sites can provide some interesting critiques, and other times they won't. In the end, it's better to just do what you want to do.

I looked at the picture closer and it's hilarious that the butt has been photoshopped - I'm guessing you were wearing clothes in the original?

cuz'n carol said...

OUCH! Sorry I missed your call last night. We definately need to talk!!! I was at work a little late, and then had to get the vultures fed. I'll talk to you tonight.
HUGS!!

LceeL said...

If that's the way you walk around the house, cook meals, etc., how the HELL does your husband find the will to leave the house? Mama, you is HAWT.

Whew.

Linda, you don't need anyone to review your site. All you need to do is be you. That's all any of us want you to be, expect you to be or would ask you to be. Just be you. 'Cause YOU is rockin'.

Anonymous said...

Linda we all love you and thank you for giving us a good chuckle everyday. Now turn that frown upside down.

P.S. Maybe Mutha needs a nice walk in the woods. Tis the season.

Glamorous Life of a House Wife said...

She is horrible. Ignore her. I went to her blog and was B-O-R-E-D to tears. Trust me, she's got nothin' on you. And she is very, very confused on what Christianity is all about. She's giving people such a bad taste in their mouths on what TRUE Christians are. Ugh. She needs to reevaluate herself. Maybe she should quit the entire blogging community.... we don't need mean people like her out here.

Moonspun said...

I am a pretty new reader, but I love your stuff. I wouldn't read a reviewer and decide one way or another. We all have different tastes. Just keep being you! You are going great.

ghost of keywork said...

Jesus, I really hate playing ambassador, but you submitted. You wanted to know, you wanted to know so badly what others think of your blog, so you submitted. It's a free review. Gift horse, if you will, and here you and your friends are with the dental floss. AAYSR reviews blogs. That's it. You don't have to submit. Everyone is allowed to their opinion. But don't complain about a spanking that you asked for.

ghost of keywork said...

Oh, shit, I can't help myself.
Glamorous: I'm dying to know your thoughts on what a TRUE Christian is exactly. That's getting a bit personal, doncha think?

Megan said...

(don't like ghost of keywork either)

ghost of keywork said...

Megan, you can buy entire books of 'Would You Rathers'. Sadly, for you, they don't sell clever. No hard feelings, I'm not here so everyone can 'like' me. Quite the opposite. Please let me know what you find most 'unlikeable' about me. I enjoy occasional critiques on how I can better upset the masses.

ghost of keywork said...

On a lighter note, we're not so different:

I like that wedding cake too.

Employee No. 3699 said...

@Ghost of Keywork

I am not complaining that I got a spanking. That's not what I'm saying at all. I'm saying that I asked for a review and I don't think I really got one. Mutha apparently didn't want to do these reviews anymore. She took a quick peek at me (she couldn't have dug around too much or she would have seen I'm not a Mommy Blogger), spewed about Mommy Bloggers and said her farewells...

...and the kicker, she's a Mommy Blogger. Hypocrite.

ghost of keywork said...

So you weren't pleased. Can't win them all. But it's yesterdays news. You get what you pay for. You got a bad shake because your reviewer happened to be a human. Humans have bad days. I can see where she made the 'phone circle' connection now. Looka what happened to the blog that got reviewed today. Ouch. Seriously, move on, write more.

Badass Geek said...

All those in favor of ignoring Ghost of Keywork, raise your hand.

*raises hand*

Betsey Booms said...

Oooh, look, they take votes around here.

ghost of keywork said...

Geek, party of one, your table is ready.

ghost of keywork said...

Mavericks.

Lola said...

Nice ass ;-) Looks like you've got yourself a troll. Why do they always seem to have so much time on their hands? You go, Badass!

First off, you don't need anyone's review if you're happy, and you seem happy to me. I think you do a great job, and I'm a picky kinda bitch.

It's rather obvious that she did not really review your blog, which was her "job," because she didn't pay any attention to the details. Fuck her!

Can you imagine what kind of review I'd get? Oh, my, that would be amusing.

ghost of keywork said...

If someone asks for something, it usually implies a want or desire. Also, most people get paid for 'jobs'. This is a free service. But yeah, you go girlfriend.

Employee No. 3699 said...

@Lola

He has so much time on his hands because he's on house arrest. What else is he going to do?

He's also doing the hands over the ears thing yelling, "La-la-la, I can't hear you."

I 'asked' to be reviewed. Mutha 'asked' to be a reviewer. We both put ourselves out there, but apparently there are two sets of rules. I am not allowed to have a negative opinion of the experience. Had I posted something nice about it, that would have been okay.

If Ghost wants to amuse himself for a few more hours watching and responding to the comments here, let him. Kids will be kids.

ghost of keywork said...

Mutha was 'asked' to be a reviewer. She didn't have to review anything. While we're on the topic of 'kids', why didn't you leave a comment over at Ask? Because this was all about validation for you. You came back here, let all of your readers tell you how wonderful you are, now you are vindicated.

Employee No. 3699 said...

@ Ghost

Of course I'm not going to leave a comment this long over there.

And, if you'd take the earmuffs off and listen, you'd hear I wasn't looking for any pats on the back and I wasn’t upset that I didn’t get a shiny star. I was expressing my disappointment that:

1. That she erroneously labeled me a Mommy Blogger.
2. That she didn’t want to do any more reviews, but couldn’t say no. So she did a lazy review focusing on Mommy Bloggers in general.

I was also pointing out that though she has a thing against Mommy Bloggers, she in fact is one.

Now, I’m going to carry on with my day. When you’re done visiting over here and finally leave, don’t let the door hit you in the ass.

bfflindasue said...

Ghost of I used to be human till they took me off my meds. It might do you well to read todays blog, take it slow so you can digest it. Seems you have totaly missed the point.

ghost of keywork said...

So you're not a Mommy Blogger?

ghost of keywork said...

Seems you have totally left out the second 'l' in totally.

ghost of keywork said...

I read it and I get the idea that she was displeased with her free review. Also, she has done a case study on her reviewer. What point did I miss?

Megan said...

Ghost:
You just seem a little bitter. But you did make me laugh with your comment back to me..I can enjoy a good smartass when I see one. Enjoy your weekend..guess you wont be going to far. :0)
Why are you on house arrest? What do you enjoy doing in your "spare" time?

ghost of keywork said...

Thanks, megan. I'm actually off of house arrest now. I was on it for thirty days for a failed suicide attempt. I enjoy golfing, playing with my son, and walks in the park. I hate mayonnaise.

Love Bites said...

When you submitted, you went to this page, where you were told:

"Okay. Having read the FAQ, you need to realize that if you now subsequently submit your shitty-assed blog to our site, with its ugly black letters on top of a pea-green background, we are going to rip you a new hole to shit through. I'm not joking here. You will get reamed. It's a promise. After the reaming, you will be redirected to the FAQ. You know, the one you should have read BEFORE submitting.

By submitting your blog here, you are giving us your permission to love, hate, loathe, despise, cherish, or feel ambivalent towards your blog. Blogs are personal, and thus, we also may not much like YOU. By submitting your blog here, you are opening yourself up for any and all criticism we may decide to dish out. Be aware of this, and don't act like a whiny pansy-assed bitch.


The FAQ, which, had you read it, would have given you a LOT of helpful tips on your blog, including where you can get a blog that doesn't look like pond scum, is here.

Now, where exactly were you promised a sweet, kind review that would guide you gently into the blogosphere?

Way to play stupid, and that is so unbecoming in someone your age.

Now, put on your big girl panties, and deal.

Love Bites said...

You asked, you received, stop being a whiny bitch. You're a grandma, for god's sake.

And yes, we are snarky, corrupting, mean, hateful, vituperative, and all those other delicious things, but Linda KNEW THAT before she submitted. We make it damn clear on our submission page.

So now, I'm left questioning why she's whining about a spanking she requested.

ghost of keywork said...

I love it when people taste shoe.


Bffl;asldkfjasl: Um, speaking of reading things, look who didn't read the FAQ over at ASK. Hint: she owns this blog.

Also, Ghosts are impervious to doors. Silly rabbit.

Bambikiller said...

Ghost of keyboards, thanks for your service to this great country.

P.S. lighten up on Linda, your mean spirit does not flect well.

Employee No. 3699 said...

@ Ghost and Love Bites…

Of course I read the FAQ. You’re missing the point of this post. So pay attention, and don’t worry, I’ll type s.l.o.w.l.y.

The reason I asked for a review is because I wanted one, ass kicking and all. I’m saying that I don’t believe I got one. Mutha did not do a review as is customary with Ask. I have respect for the quality of the reviews thus far and I believe my review was not on par with the others. Every review that I have read has constructive criticism. I was expecting to get ripped apart and didn’t. The only critique I received was about my template. It is a shame that the majority of the review was about the genre of Mommy Bloggers and a generalization of them.

Ghost, you did a better critique than she did. You at least pointed out that anyone could buy a book of ‘Would You Rathers’, its not original. Why didn’t she point that out? Why did she point out that I have naked pictures (plural) of myself? Uhm, no, there’s just one…but it’s nice. Ghost, didn’t you comment that you wanted to tag my PhotoShopped ass?

And here, I’ll even help Mutha out. I did a whole week of posts about where I worked after my divorce. There was no humor and they were boring as all hell. I came out of my stupor and stopped myself.

She also pointed out that I post alcoholic drink recipes. Well, what about it? Do I have too many pictures or steps? Maybe a recipe with Everclear is too much? I don’t know because she didn’t focus on anything specific. She didn’t delve into anything. Nada. Zilch.

On a positive note, she pointed out that I had no ads and I had good grammar (thank you Mrs. Wright).

I just got the feeling that she wanted to use her last review to either A. Harp on Mommy Bloggers or B. She was being lazy and didn’t want to do another review, as she stated in her own blog. I don’t think it’s A. as she is one herself. And why the hell would she link to her own blog?

@ Love Bites, “Now, put on your big girl panties, and deal.” I would honey, but my husband deleted them in PhotoShop. And, “So now, I'm left questioning why she's whining about a spanking she requested.” Yeah, I actually get into that…maybe I should post about that. What do you think?

In summary, I’m not whining about my spanking as you two keep harping on. I’m whining about the content of the review, because there was no substance to it. I understand that this is a voluntary thing on both my part and the reviewer. So give me what I asked for and what you volunteered to do.

It’s called Ask And Ye Shall Receive. Well I did and I didn’t. And I just think you’re ticked off that I reviewed my review.

Employee No. 3699 said...

P.S. If I had to volunteer a rating of the review of my review, I guess I would give it a Super-Sized Meh.

ghost of keywork said...

Look, your photoshopped ass is hot.

Thanks, bambikiller, but I was pretty nice. I save the really 'mean spirited' stuff for people that actually warrant it.

Look, this happens a lot more than you would think. Blogger gets bad review, posts review of said review, receives circle of hugs. Continues to put out a crappy blog. Well, that's what usually happens. There really isn't a return policy in place. The best thing to do, if you receive a review that doesn't help you out any, is to look for what you can change. Do it yourself. After all this back and forth, you still rock the pea green. You're still pretty new to this, give it time. You know how to describe your blog, it's like a pet. Your pet. Don't look for instruction, you probably won't get it. Advice, well, if you didn't get any from Mutha, find another review site. Or, wait a few months and resubmit. After you have given your pet a thorough grooming.

Listen, whether you have a point or not, you got what you got. You can have the little snippet up there if you want it. But remember, regardless of what type of blogger your reviewer is, they have their own blog to maintain on top of their voluntary reviews. Some of them maintain multiple blogs.

Long comment for long comment.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Whew! I'm spent.

First, hon, I'm honored that I'm one of the humble blogs whom you've read and got you started in the blogverse.

Secondly? I agree that you didn't get the type of review Ask typically gives out. I say you re-submit and hope you get Nutjobber. :) But seriously, I'll still be back for more "Would you rather" because I'm too cheap to buy the book and I'll be back for mixed drinks and I'll be back for more random memorandums. 'Cause? You rock.

Eva said...

You know you're a great blogger when you get haters in the comment section. Woo hoo! When I first saw "43 comments" I was all, "Damn you are freakin popular!" but then I saw that your comment section is being frequently haunted by a specter. He sure is a pesky one, too.

Eva said...

p.s. Nice ass.

Love Bites said...

because there was no substance to it.

The substance of it was that your writing is tired, mundane, and pedestrian, and we've seen it's like at least 16,709 times in the past year. In fact, there is a blog created on blogger EVERY SINGLE F'ing day that is just like yours.

So, if this is all you've got, writing wise, meh. Been there, done that, ain't nothing special, and there is nothing happening here that would draw most of our readers back.

And I'm quite certain you'd have been told the same, in more scathing terms, by nutjobber.

It's not that your review wasn't substantive, because it was. It gave you a good critique of your writing, such as it is.

It's that you don't LIKE what you were told about your writing, and have seized onto any excuse you can find (Mutha is tired and gave you short shrift) to excuse yourself so you don't have to pay attention.

Wrong. I can't think of any of the regular reviewers on Ask who'd have given you more than a meh. Including me.

Love Bites said...

Also, when you have to resort to writing about defecation, you are REALLY scraping the bottom of the barrel, content-wise.

Employee No. 3699 said...

Everyone has a right to their own opinion. Mine is not that I got an unfair review; it is that I believe I didn’t get a review as is on par with what Ask normally does.

And for the record, Love Bite’s response to my review that day in their Comment’s section was:

Love Bites said…
Yeah, I actually didn't hate this blog. I might have given it one star. No more than that, though. There is some decent stuff here, but most of it is pretty fluffy and mundane. Kind of like me.

It’s a nice day. Why don’t you kids turn off your computers and go outside and play. This little ‘phone circle’ has ended; can you hear the dial tone….