Thursday, July 2, 2009

On A Wing and a Prayer...

After racking my brain trying to come up with a humorous post, which I did by the way (which I’m sure I’ll forget by tomorrow because said brain is like a sieve), my brother called. If you’re not familiar with what’s been going on you can read these two rant posts. Anyway, he called and I spent quite awhile on the phone with him discussing the ins and outs of going to the Salvation Army rehabilitation program. This program is pretty much his only option. Beggars The non insured can’t be choosy.

The program is voluntary and basically you enter with the clothes on your back and that’s it. You can’t bring in anything else; nothing, nada, zilch. You work while you’re there during the day and your evenings are spent in counseling sessions. The money you earn pays for your stay, necessities and clothing from their thrift store. You have no outside contact for the first 45 days, after that you can gradually have phone calls, visitors and outside passes. After six months you can elect to stay longer, up to a year, and get a job outside of the facility and still live there and continue with their program.

During our conversation he complained that it sounded a lot like jail (well you can’t expect Betty Ford or Club Med). He said they can put him to work shoveling shit for eight hours and that’s okay but he had two concerns. The first being violence and I get that. I know he’s afraid someone might start something that he can’t finish. He’s not a big guy and he’s pretty passive. There may be some men there that have a tendency to be violent, but it is a voluntary program. They don’t take court mandated cases to my knowledge, and I would think they turn out anyone not abiding by the rules. This is a valid point, but…

…his second concern was about how much money he’d walk away with. His thinking is that if he’s working while he’s there he should walk away with a bankroll. I tried to reason with him that his work there is basically paying for his stay and that being able to walk out of there with his demons conquered and his head held high with a positive outlook on life is more valuable than a couple of bucks.

I don’t know if he absorbed anything I said because to be honest it sounded like he had a couple of drinks in him. He wasn’t slurring his words, but I could tell he was making an effort not to.

I hope he knows that I love him to death. No, that’s not right. I hope he knows that I love him with all my heart and I want him to get better. I want him to be ‘him’ again. Does that make sense?

He is going to the dentist on Monday to take care of a bad tooth before he admits himself to this program the following day. On a wing and a prayer, I hope he follows through.

21 comments:

Moonspun said...

Wow, my friend. At least he called you and gave you a chance to talk to him. Despite the lack of options,like betty ford, it seems like a decent option. I am sure that he knows how much you love him. Otherwise, he may not have called.
Thinking of you both!

Mental P Mama said...

I think the fact that he called you to talk about it is a great sign. I will be holding him in my thoughts. What a battle.

Megan said...

Thinking of your family..

Cat said...

At least he is thinking about it, maybe considering it... but it sounds like he is looking at it the wrong way to me, and maybe he is not ready really for the change to happen. its a ton of hard work and it takes dedication to something bigger than your need to drink or do drugs.

I do hope he figures this out soon and you did good by him...

Gin said...

It is a great sign that at least he is thinking about it. I hope that he does indeed follow through, but he will only do it if he is ready. I'm sure you and your family are SOOOO ready, but it is in his hands. I am thinking of you. I am there. I know how you feel. He's lucky to have a sister like you.

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Keeping my fingers crossed that he makes the right decision.

Hallie

Miss Grace said...

I hope it works out. These things are so hard.

Kim's Korner said...

What a hard place to be in. For both of you.

I agree with some of the others in that he may be thinking about it, knows it's the right thing to do ... but may not be ready to take that step yet.

I really hope he makes it out of this healthier and happier.

Aunt Becky said...

I know this battle well, my friend. My parents are both in recovery. It's a long road, but it's possible.

Aunt Juicebox said...

If he's willing to go, at least he's acknowledging he has a problem, and that's the first step. I truly hope he sticks it out.

And I know this may be none of my business, or not something you would do, or could do, but maybe you could save up some money for him, to give him if he's successful? Or some other tangible thing he wants or needs? Maybe even do one of those pledge things among his and your family and friends. Like those walkathons. Let him know that you (and hopefully others?) are there for him, and if he can make it through the program, there will be something waiting for him when he gets out. We both know the satisfaction of getting control of your life should be enough incentive, but for some people, it isn't, and that's reality. I know, it's not your responsibility, and it might not be doable or reasonable, it was just a thought....

Wine and Words said...

Is it sick to be drawn to such an opportunity? Probably. But...

manual labor
mind free
issues slain
and meals square three?

Sign me up.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Yeah, it's getting that message through to him that his payoff is the end of his dependency. That's better than all the money in the world.

I hope he makes it there, I hope he makes it through the program, and I hope he learns a new way to live and that it sticks.

Much love, hon.

Immoral Matriarch said...

I'm thinking of you guys. xoxo

Evansmom said...

Good luck to you and your brother. You to have the strength to realize that you can't do anymore than you have and him to have the strength to fight his personal demons.

Bama Cheryl said...

I hope and pray for the best for you and for him!

The Peach Tart said...

I pray that he'll be strong, follow through and work on his demons.

Lola said...

Well, it's a decent start, just talking about it. Hopefully, he'll follow through for everyone's sake.

LceeL said...

Man, I hope he does it right. For his sake. For yours.

Selma said...

I am so glad he is discussing this with you. It's a great place to start. He is probably feeling extremely daunted about what lies ahead and the daily battle he will face. I hope he signs up and completes the program. It will be tough but worth it in the end.

Thinking of you both XXX

meleah rebeccah said...

Oh honey. This is so hard to deal with. My thoughts and prayers go out to your brother (and you).

Momisodes said...

I'm so sorry. I can only imagine how difficult this is to bear. My thoughts and prayers are with you both.