Saturday, November 14, 2009

Dog vs. Husband…

Dog: Always happy to see me
Husband: Acknowledges my presence
Dog wins

Dog: Can lick his own balls
Husband: Needs me to lick them for him
Dog wins

Dog: Eats my underwear
Husband: Wants to get in my underwear
Husband wins

Dog: Will eat my dinner
Husband: Will take me out for dinner
Husband wins

Dog: Drinks out of the toilet
Husband: Leaves the seat up

Dog: Pees outside
Husband: Gets pee on the floor
Dog wins

Dog: Brings home dead animals
Husband: Brings home a paycheck
Husband wins

Dog: Likes it doggy style
Husband: Likes it doggy style

Dog: Likes to mooch
Husband: Likes to smooch
Husband wins

Dog: Plays with his bone
Husband: Plays with his bone

Dog: 3
Husband: 4
Ties: 3

Husband wins. You can stay, my husband, yes stay. “Stay, good boy!”


bernthis said...

this is hilarious. Wouldn't it be just perfect if they could like their own balls, the men that is. Just in case you're too busy watching a good movie

Meg said...

That was awesome. But MY husband took exception to the toilet seat one. He thinks the husband should totally have won that one. I think he's delusional.

Anonymous said... was close though! My hubby actually puts down the toilet seat for me. I think the first time I fell through it and yelled permanently scarred him.

Badass Geek said...

I bet he's glad of the results. =)

Avitable said...

It was a close one. Dogs sometimes like to smooch, too, you know.

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Love this!! Btw, you CAN get a heated mattress pad cuz they have duel controls. One side can be cozy warm, the other can be chilly!


Aunt Juicebox said...

Er, honestly I think your husband wins the like it doggy style competition. Cuz dogs are just doing what's natch. The can't do it any other way BUT doggy style.

Sheila said...


Yay husband!

Nej said...

Thanks for the laugh today!!! :-)

Lola said...

My husband has been so annoying today that I'm afraid the dog wins! Hell, the cat wins, and she's a rotten little bitch ;)

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