Thursday, July 9, 2009

Today Has Got To Be Better...

The night before last I had insomnia. After tossing and turning, for what seemed like hours, Mr. Sandman finally came a callin’. Needless to say, when my alarm went off at 6:00 a.m., I hit the snooze. I then hit it six more times. I’ll save you from doing the math and tell you it was after seven; leaving me less than 25 minutes to get out the door. Once in the bathroom, I realized there was no toilet paper…after it was too late. I shuffled my way, with my panties around my ankles, into the bedroom to grab some Kleenex.

Back in the bathroom while brushing my teeth I noticed the dogs were doing the pee-pee dance. After letting them out, I proceeded toward the laundry room to feed them. Halfway down the stairs it was apparent that one of them had gotten sick during the night. Three large, and too many to count smaller, piles of diarrhea were all over the family room carpeting. Now we own a carpet cleaner but I have no idea where it’s at, let alone how to use the thing. I also didn’t have time to figure it out.

I grabbed a spatula from the kitchen (Yes, I said a spatula.) and started pooper scooping. Using several of the clean washcloths and hand towels that were sitting on the dryer I went to town with a bottle of Resolve and water. All the while I was fighting off the gag reflex with the toothbrush still in my mouth.

Left with about two minute’s time to get out the door; I threw my hair in a ponytail and tossed on a sleeveless dress that didn’t need to be ironed. Not having enough time to check the weather before leaving, I wasn’t aware that Mother Nature still seemed to think its spring with rain and a temperature of only 60 degrees. Being cold all day wasn’t enough; I was also hungry because I forgot to bring my lunch, leaving me with only the Activia I had left at work.

Today has got to be better, right?

(Note to self: Buy a new spatula.)

** Update at 9:09 a.m. Is it friggin' Ground Hog Day? I woke up to another mess on the family room floor.

21 comments:

Moonspun said...

Well hopefully after the activia you won't need the spatula for yourself...you know what I mean??
That all kind of sounds like a sitcom and the kind of stuff you can't make up!
I sure hope things do get better!

Badass Geek said...

Man.

Sounds like you need a do-over.

Organic Meatbag said...

Wow, and I thought MY day was crappy! Holy geez... yes, today will be a better day... it HAS to be...hehehe...

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

The middle of the night liquid poop is the worst thing to wake up to in the morning. ICK. ICK. ICK.

Hallie

Mental P Mama said...

Well, I hope you have more TP after that yogurt....And the visual of you with your toothbrush cleaning the rug? Priceless. Sorry;) Today definitely will be better. I can feel it.

Gin said...

Geez, I guess things really can get worse...snicker...sorry. Hope tomorrow is better!

Wine and Words said...

Random Bummerandom girl! I know those days. I try to keep my distance, but they always manage to come back 'round....hopefully not too soon. Hope today is better love!

Aunt Juicebox said...

Oh you poor woman!

Miss Grace said...

Well. Is today better? I hope so.

Evansmom said...

Talk about a crappy day! I hope the rest of your day gets better.

If it makes you feel any better, our current dog took forever and a day to housebreak. We finally resorted to buying books on the subject. I came home one day to find one of the "how to housebreak your dog for dummies" books on the floor in the middle of the room. She had chewed it and then pooped on top of it. No joke!

Momisodes said...

Ay yi yi!

The toothbrush, spatula, poop combo nearly did me over.

I really hope today was better. Really.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Why the hell is it when you have all the time in the world, the animals behave? And then when you're pressed for minutes, the dogs crap and the cats barf all over the place?

Sheesh. Sorry about your bad morning, hon.

TexAss said...

Wow...I've had mornings like that and it totally ruins the entire day. Hope yours got a little better.

LceeL said...

It's a good thing I have a strong stomach. So descriptive ....

Lola said...

Yikes! Sadly, we're still dealing with the dog squirts around here, and I haven't had a good night's sleep in a week. At least mine wake me up to let them out, though.

Get boiling that chicken and rice, honey, and hang in there!!

Nej said...

Do-overs, for sure!!!!

Reinvent Dad said...

I need to know what you did with the spatula?

A. Toss it out
B. Boil it
C. Place in dishwasher
D. Convert to pooper scooper
E. None of the above
F. All of the above

Agreed, not a great way to start your day.

Aunt Becky said...

I have someone you can send that spatula to.

Kim's Korner said...

Oh MAN! Definitely hope it was a better day!

I can't say I've ever used a spatula ... but I've used a dustpan before! That was a BIG sucker! LOL

Oh and yes, I think the only thing better than the mental image of you scrubbing poop with a tooth brush hanging out of your mouth, is to picture it with the panties still around the ankles TOO!!!

and of course ... TP hanging off your foot ;-p

Selma said...

Poop on the carpet never indicates a good day. Hope the puppies are OK.

meleah rebeccah said...

Oh boy! I hate mornings like that! I hope your EVENING was better than that!!